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How do I talk to my younger sister about sex?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2009)
A age 41-50, * writes:

hi,

I am elder brother and my sister is 2 years younger to me, and she behaves as if she is elder to me and knows more than me in the matter of sexual relationship.

I want to help her in carrying out safe and good sexual relationship, but when i take up the topic she just says me that she knows more than me.

How should i help her?

if she do any sex without protection she could get pregnant... I don't want to make restrictions on her.

I want her to loose her virginity and to carry out sex, as she wants to do now a days...but in safe way...

please help me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

for your information you cannot make restrictions on her. she is an adult and you are nothing but her brother. and i agree with ask oldersister. its her buisness and if she wanted help she would ask,and not necessarily ask you either.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2009):

Starlights agony auntTo be honest your sister may feel uncomfortable telling you about her sex life.

i would never imagine talking to my younger brother about my sex life even now (its a matter of respect) or even tell my grandma about it!

So i cant imagine your sister being open with you, more likely she will laugh at you.

How do you know her friends may misguide her? as girls we tend to look out for each other and aware that we wouldnt want to get pregnant outside of marriage and without precautions.

I am sure she is more clever than you expect her to be.

So tell her if she needs any advice you will be there for her and then leave it to her, she is an adult now.

Goodluck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi all,

Thanks for valuable replies but,

I m not 26-29 :) that is selected by mistake...

i m 20 and my sister just turned 18.

i don't want to actually advice her... but i just want that she should share with me any problem with me regarding Sex, rather than discussing it with her frnds,who can miss guide her...

I just want to be frndly with her...

i guess she fears that i may make fun of her if she shares with me...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

Thats very sweet of you but I doubt she will apreciate it muh.

Ive dated 2 Indians girls and had sex with both, they were about 24 though. The first girl said her brother and father could never know about it as they would treat her bad.

The second girl said her whole family were traditional and would be upset too.

In indian culture girls dont like to mention their personal lives because thay know if they admit what they do their families wont be happy and will treat them badly.

So you see why she wouldnt want to talk to you about it.

The best thing for you to do is tell your sis that you love her and want to be there for her.

She will apreciate that

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 October 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntI think this is going to be one of these instances of a deep cultural divide. I personally would leave her alone if I were you. She may have access to birth control information that you are not aware of. She also has the right to make her own decisions.

I'm aware in certain cultures, the female's sexuality and expression thereof reflects on the entire family. If you are trying to act your culturally imposed role of head of the family, you are doing what you think you should. Keep in mind that the predominate cultural norm of the aunts here at DC is that the sexual mores and activities of an individual are their own individual choice. Women included.

I didn't try to influence my younger brother's sexual relationships by offering advice; he would have been offended, and rightly so. Why would you push your advice on your sister if she's assured you she's fully aware of the risks of sexual activity?

Basically, you can't give advice to someone who's not interested in hearing it.

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

You're between the ages of 26 to 29?! Maybe she does know more about sex then you do?? Wake up...

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