A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I graduated high school two months ago, and though we're not going to the same college, we had never really discussed what was going to happen with our relationship this fall. We're both virgins, and recently he started pressuring me to have sex. I'm not necessarily waiting for marriage to have sex, but I am waiting until I'm in love, and I just don't think I'm in love with him (even though I do love him and am attracted to him). After me rejecting his sexual advances a few times, I told him that if he wants someone who will have sex with him, he should probably look elsewhere (not a great idea, I know). Then, two weeks ago, he tried AGAIN to go further than I wanted, and when I said no, he told me that I was right, he probably SHOULD look elsewhere.We haven't spoken since then and I'm really disgusted by the way he's behaved. I guess I also don't want to blink first, so to speak -- I don't want it to look like I'm crawling back to him by being the first one to IM/call/whatever. I think he was being disrespectful of my feelings, and I am furious with him for not wanting to be with me just because I won't have sex with him (even though that's basically what I told him to do). So I KNOW he's a jerk and I shouldn't want to get back with him...but part of me hates the idea of being rejected by him and the fact that he's going to find another girl who will sleep with him and think that she's somehow better than me, and worse -- MISSES him. I feel so weak for wishing he would want me like he did before and I HATE IT. I've been telling my friends that I just don't care that our relationship seems to be over because I'm so embarrassed that I secretly want him back. Why do I wish he was still my boyfriend? How can I make myself stop wishing that he would come back to me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 August 2009):
 You'll be surprised how your feelings about all this will change once you get to college. Just hang on until then sweetheart. You'll have the best time in your life, you'll meet so many fascinating people, learn so many fascinating things. It will be great and it's just a few weeks until it all unfolds for you! Enjoy!
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