A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married and we have hang out with this married couple that we love dearly.We are very close and get along great. Last night I dreamt that my bestfriend was in her bed and I was wearing a see-through thin silver satin nightgown and she invited me to her bed. I was hesitant but she held my hand and made me feel more at ease. As I layed down in the middle of her bed she started to caress me and then her husband came in and started to caress me too. I kept saying “I don’t think this is right” and was assured by both of them that it was fine. Physically I was truly enjoying it, but mentally I still felt it was a bit wrong but dismissed it because of how good it felt. Then I woke up and I felt horrible for having a dream like that and my husband lying next to me! I felt as if I had cheated on my husband for enjoying it. I still feel bad because just writing about my dream has turned me on. In the real life we speak freely on any subject, be it kids, sex, politics, etc. I don’t believe I’m attracted to either of them, but have shamefully wondered how things behind their closed doors are. Hey I’m sure many people wonder about everyone too right? Or wrong? They both do make sexy compliments to me but are very dry when it comes to my husband. Meaning that I don’t think they would cross the line with him as they do with me. Although I am quite shy, I am a very sexual person and at times I feel they both verbally-sexually speaking attack me, but I enjoy it. I wonder if I’m giving them some kind of sub-conscious go ahead, because the more I think about it the more I fancy trying it. BUT I wouldn’t because I love my husband.How can i stop thinking of this dream and of them? Have i just by thinking cheated on my husband?
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female
reader, Gwyneth +, writes (1 March 2007):
 I once received some very wise advice from a friend of mine. I was telling her about my fantasies (at the time, I was in a committed relationship and was fantasizing about being with someone else). I told my friend, Bianca, that I felt guilty just for thinking about these things. She looked at me dead on and said, "Don't censor your thoughts and dreams. Your imagination is your very own domain and guilt should not enter into it." I never forgot these words. Since then, I have always been open to whatever my mind wants to think. I enjoy my imaginings and fantasies. They are mine and they stay inside me and I get pleasure from them.Don't be so hard on yourself, chere!! Enjoy your feelings. Take a long, luxurious bath and indulge yourself (in whatever way you desire "tout seule") in these thoughts. Afterward, let the water out of the tub, go fix a delicious dinner that pleases you, and sleep well. You've done no wrong! C'est tout bon!
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