| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My husband left for Florida to visit his mother for 2 weeks. I could not go because it's the holiday season and our company does not permit vacations in December. Usually we go together in January but my husband is starting a new job in the new year. His mother needs his help finishing renovations at her condo. My problem is I worry he is there without me and can have a fling for sex purposes. He's in a 55 + retirement community.I'd like to know if you can suggest any coping strategies for worry, panic, anxiety and paranoia while he is away. The last time he was there alone almost ended our marriage. It was really that severe. How can I survive the next two weeks without thinking he has another woman down there? He will still have plenty of down time. It's already starting to eat away at me. :( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (4 December 2018):
 OP, why don't you do yourself a favor and take our advice. You keep posting and posting and posting on here and trying to pretend that you are someone different every time but what you don't seem to realize is that we know who you are. You are in a relationship with a man that is married and you are paranoid about him. Do yourself a favor and stop posting on here changing your stories just a little bit and GET HELP. Your story is always the same. Lets be REAL here. You are a cheater, he is a cheater and yes, you are ALWAYS going to be afraid that he is cheating on you. WHY? Because he IS a cheater and a liar.
GET HELP. We can't give you any more advice than that. You have a serious problem and the only one that can help you is YOU. GET COUNSELLING. You refuse to listen to anything that any of us say but yet will make a post about 2-3 times a week. Can't you see that there is a problem????
GET HELP
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2018): It doesn't seem that he planned to go to get away from you and cheat so why do you think he would?I think you will have to expand and explain why you think he would, has he done so before or have you got trust issues based on no proof?Reading between the lines you are not in a sexual relationship with your husband for whatever reason so you think he will be off with other women if he gets the chance.This won't help but if he wanted to cheat he would, he would not have to go to Florida to do so. Unless we know his background i guess no one can guess if he seeks out women, you could do with explaining why you are worrying so much...If it is simply because you love him and miss him and hand on heart you know deep down he wouldn't cheat then all you can do is keep yourself busy and TRY NOT to overthink..If you have good reason then why would you stay with him if he is affecting your health and happiness....Only you know.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2018): You apparently never forgave your husband for a prior indiscretion; and he never regained your trust(?). If you don't trust the man, nothing anyone here can say will make you trust him, or soothe your anxiety.
If you have issues with uncontrollable jealousy and possessiveness; you need therapy. Didn't you mention that your insecurity nearly ended your marriage? Did he actually cheat, or did you just lose your mind with suspicion and paranoia?
You'll just have to stew in your juices and use self-control. He's a grown-man, and he can come and go as he pleases. Baby-sitting and catering to your insecurity is not his responsibility. Be real, he isn't likely to have a lot of temptation among gray-haired elderly women in a retirement community. You're being irrational. If he's a confirmed cheat, your torment is self-inflicted.
Why are you clinging to a man you are certain will cheat on you? If he's innocent, he can't possibly be happy being subjected to such behavior from you!
While he's away, go find yourself a therapist you can talk to. Maybe a mental-health professional can help you deal with your separation-anxiety. Maybe you'll also determine the origin of this high-anxiety; if it's not based on any previous cheating.
He may justifiably remedy the problem by leaving you; if you won't practice self-control.
If he is a confirmed-cheater; maybe therapy will help you to gain the emotional and psychological strength to leave the marriage and move on.
Let these thoughts give you motivation to work on it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 December 2018):
 You seek counseling as soon as possible. Individual for certain. Marital if he’s a known cheater. Which I suspect he is because you are over the top upset if he’s not.
Seek counseling.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2018):
 Has he cheated before?
Why do you think cheating is something he will do?
And why are you married to a man you think you can't trust?
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