A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I stop stalking my ex's new girlfriend on Facebook?I split up with my ex a few weeks back because he was seeing this girl (she denied it - but they are definitely seeing each other)!Anyhow, me and the ex don't speak or contact each other now - but I am forever trying to find out what his girlfriend is up to on Facebook - rather than him. She isn't on my friends list obviously - but I don't like the way I can't stop snooping and it doesn't make me happy knowing I'm doing this and that she's with him!! How do I stop this uncontrollable snooping? I hear it can be quite common after a break up?
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a break, facebook, my ex, split up, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015): I had this issue with my ex husbands new wife who he married a year after we divorced from our 18 year marriage. I have simply blocked them both and their family. Click on their profile and then block. Though you can unblock it creates a barrier and is just enough to break the habit.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Youre wanting to see things you dont want to see. Stay away from horror films or continue watching this one a tear yourself apart. Forget them.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (10 August 2015):
How are you stalking her? Does she have a public profile, or are you using your Ex’s page to find out about their suspected relationship? Unfriend your ex too, if you haven’t already. I’m afraid, if you’ve not got her on any friends list, you simply have to exercise some self-discipline. To be fair, perhaps you are writing this because you’re finding that incredibly difficult as you do seem to see the pointlessness of what you’re doing. But I don’t think any advice we can give will make that any easier for you. I think you need to understand that you’re obviously not over the breakup and you’ve not properly dealt with it yet. Are you talking to people who can support you? It’s still very fresh so you might still be going through the emotional turbulence at this stage. This is where Facebook is so unhelpful. Perhaps you are resentful that she is (or may seem to be) happy with the person that you wanted, but that’s often just the trick of the social network: anyone can make their lives appear more blissfully care-free and wonderful than they really are. Spend time with your friends and family, go out and fill as much of your time with people who you care about as you can. The more you have fun and grow in confidence again, the less you’ll feel that there is a major gap in your own life and feel the curiosity that inspires you to keep stalking his new girlfriend.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): Ha - thanks Notsohappy - I never thought of the note before. Infact It's a pity you cannot get the computer to flash up a note saying "arsehole" each time I look!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): It is common, but that doesn't make it right or healthy.
I think it's time to deactivate your Facebook for a month or however long it takes to stop caring. If you log back on and still care, deactivate again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): I feel for you. Have similar issues. Social media is the worst sometimes. I wish they had a feature where you could perms you block someone without unblocking!!
Maybe try calling a friend first before you do it. Or paying 15$ to a jar each time. Get. Creative
It will only hurt and maybe you want to hurt yourself? But why?!
We deserve peace of
Mind :)
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