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How do I stop myself from making out with my guy friends' mates every time I see him with his girlfriend?

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

basically i go to kinda a strict grammar school where nobody really does anything but everyone gossips like crazy and like two girls have had sex in the whole year and they got taunted horribly. anyway i kinda have this thing for my friend who has a girlfriend and whenever i see them together i drink and make out with one of the guys friends and this has happened a couple times now, and even though all we did was makeout with a little groping people are calling me a slut and i genuinely dont know how to stop myself because although i like my friend i am turned on like all the time and i love making out but im getting a kind of reputation

now and i dont know what to do about it?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntStop drinking and stop putting yourself in the situations that makes you feel like THIS is what you should/want to do.

Being 16 and wanting to experiment, I get that. But you need to consider how your actions affects your life. Being horny is normal, but that doesn't mean you have to ACT on it every chance you get.

And you REALLY should keep your paws & lips of guy who have a girlfriend or you will not only have a reputation for being a slut but much worse.

Come on, honey, be smart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013):

You can start by knocking off the drinking...do you behave like this when you are not drinking?

You know what you are doing and you know what it is beginning to cost you, so if what you are doing is not working.

Guys love who you are, for about, oh, as long as they can get whatever they can get from a girl, and they will come back for more because you give it up oh so freely.

You want to have a good reputation and have guys respect you and girlfriends who trust you? Then stop acting like this.

Go and have your fun, you don't have to be tied down to anyone, but it doesn't mean you have to behave like that.

What you are doing is not cute in any way, shape or form.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013):

Yeah if you don't want a bad reputation I'd pack that behaviour in asap and concentrate on something more important. If other people want to focus on having sex and boyfriends then that's their business, they will be the ones that have nothing better to do but bring up a child with no education before they've even officially left school themselves.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (15 March 2013):

R1 agony auntYou are only doing what every other 16 year old in the country is doing. Reputations are damaging and don't help anyone feel good about themselves.

On the other hand it doesn't seem like you are happy doing what you are doing as you don't really have feelings for the person you are kissing. It's obviously the alcohol making you do it so the only way to stop is to try and drink less. Easier said than done I know, but if your school is strict maybe some of the others there don't drink either so you wouldn't be on your own?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013):

What you're doing sounds a little self destructive...not just because it probably turns off this boy. But it sounds like when you feel a little anxious (like when he's around) you decide to do what you know is a very taboo thing with negative social consequences.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing, you're free to have consensual face sucking with whoever you please.

However, I don't think anyone here can positively know why do it in front of this boy. I might guess it's because you want his attention or you want him to think that you're desirable. But I doubt he sees it that way.

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