A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How in the world, am I spouse to make my best friend stop thinking about me as his future girl friend??? he is my oldest and best friend, I just dunno how to make him understand that I don't love him the way he loves me. Every now and then he have to tell me that I am his only love and bla bla bla, and I just don't know what to do any more, I don't want him to stop being my friend, I don't want him to hate me, but I want him to move on and just look around him, there are plenty of other girls in this world, and he is a nice guy so what the heck. And by the way, we don't even live in the same city any more, we still talk all the time though, through phone calls, messages and chatting all the time...
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male
reader, Isegrimm  +, writes (2 January 2011):
Men are like this^^
I can´t think of a way not to hurt him in a way. But if you don´t, chances are he might never give up.
Girls tend to think about this friendship thing different then guys.
I personally would be fine with trying and eventually ending the relationship if it does not work but other guys may be different in this, and girls probably cherish the friendship to the point of not even wanting to take the risk of it falling apart.
If your friendship is a great one and you like each other you might as well try.
Tell him how you feel about this. but most importantly guys need a reason to understand.
He will definitely not hate you that´s for sure.
A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 Just be honest with him and tell him you don't want to hurt him. Tell him that if you were his girlfriend, your relationship would be a bad one, because he would be the only one to bring love/feelings in it. Tell him he deserves someone who can return his love and that you're not that person.
I know it's hard, but I think he's insisting because maybe, by your behavior, you might have gave him the illusion that there's a slight possibility for you to want to become his girlfriend.
The way you talk to him or act around him - he interpreted it in his favor. He doesn't necessarily see things that don't exist, he just took the things and adapted them to his needs. You can't blame him.
Just be honest with him, even if this the end of your friendship. Otherwise, you'd both suffer from this.
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A
female
reader, HurtandUnsure +, writes (15 December 2010):
 My best guy friend is the same way. I told him to back off, and that there was never going to be anything between us. He wouldn't accept it, so for a few months I would be very short with texts, not return his phone calls, etc. Basically cutting him off to show that I needed space away from him. He went away for college, and things were ok. Since all that has happened, things have been ok. We still talk, just not on a day to day basis. The distance helps, it just takes time for him to realize he can't stay hooked on you while in a new area. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): End the friendship.
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