A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I stop him from going away?Hi all,Me and my partner have been together for three years now and have just had a baby together, recently my boyfriend went to Thailand for a nice holiday after coming home from deployment (he's in the forces).I then found out he had been sleeping with the Thai girls whilst out there, I got over it and thought well this is a one off and now he's spending the rest of his life with me.He promised me we would go on holiday together in 2010, our first holiday together, but now he has made plans to go away with his mates (who are all single) back to Thailand! Needless to say our holiday is now out the window...He doesn't seem to realise how upset I am about this and just doesn't listen when I say i'm not happy, I know he'll be a naughty boy again, especially because all his mates will be. I want him to understand that I won't take this anymore, and if he wants to act like he's single then maybe he should be. I don't know how to make him realise I am serious this time and i'm thinking of leaving him....I need some advice pleae!!!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 "I don't know how to make him realise I am serious this time and i'm thinking of leaving him....I need some advice pleae!!!"
I think the way to show him you are serious about this is to leave him. If you have had this discussion about his cheating and he's made plans to go to Thailand anyway, you have your answer, as far as I'm concerned. He has to actually cancel the plans to demonstrate his commitment to you and to not cheating on you.
I personally would get myself to the doctors to be checked out for STDs; who knows what he's been exposed to, and what he may have brought home and infected you with.
"A naughty boy"--that's not accurate, "a potential vector for infections such as HIV, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, Hepatitis B" is more like it.
Actions speak louder than words. This applies to both him, AND you. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (13 November 2009):
oh my, CONFRONT HIM. he needs to know exactly why you are not okay. Does he know that you DO know that he did sleep around?
tbh, a break up is a serious way to say im done wit hwat ur doing, and it will give him a huge wake up call, thats IF he loves you as u much as u think. or the worst part is that he does leave to Thailand with his friends, because u left him.
it's very important that you do tell him that it's not respectful, some guys dont think of what they do is right or wrong, they dont see the other side to it. trust me i know.
but goodluck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): My advice... is not good. Well, depending on what you want. The thing is: you can keep him held down and in your sight all the time, but the compulsion for him to go out and cheat on you behind your back will still be there. You know what I mean? You may be able to stop him from going overseas, but it won't mean he doesn't want to anymore.
I'm sorry, I think it's unfair he treats you this way, I really do. I think you could find someone loyal, someone who makes you so much happier, someone who you are able to trust. The relationship must suck for you knowing you can't trust him. I honestly think, for your sake and also the sake of your child (cos who wants a dad who's skipping off behind the family's back doing dodgy stuff) leaving is not a bad option. You'd have to deal with being on your own for a bit, but I think in the long run it would be better.
I hate guys that treat their partners like dirt. You should find someone that treats you like a real person!
Good luck, sorry for my crappy advice!
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