A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Simple question. I work with this woman, she is about 20 years my senior and lately i have been wondering if she fancies me.She is very touchy feely with me and I am not the type to cause any trouble so i don't say anything except to a very close friend who works with me also. This woman stares and gazes at me and I had to ask my friend to watch just to see if I am imagining things.Turns out I am definitely not imagining her watching me all the time. In my friends words, 'She couldn't keep her eyes off you.'And i cannot imagine her touches because one of them was quite an odd touch. I was just at my desk when she came over, had a natter, utilising my nickname which she has never done before and then just as she was leaving, she stroked her forefinger over the bottom of my thumb and down to my wrist,very very slowly, then walked off.I was a little stunned by the touch, not even ex boyfriends have acted like that with me before so i wondered what the hell she was doing. If i was the type to confront her about it, I really would but I don't want to ask her what she was playing at and me having got the wrong end of the stick.Anyway I decided she was just been overly friendly, but I have noticed she doesn't pay anyone else any attentions like she does me. After a few more touches, like stroking my arm and going to pass me in the dinner queue and putting her hands on my waist and her fingers actually digging in, I have come to the conclusion that she must fancy me.But, i don't know how to handle such a situation. What do i say, to limit my or her embarrassment. I don't want to cause any trouble?I am not interested in her, I have a boyfriend, who i have mentioned this too but he just laughed and said everyone wants a bit of me. So how can i curb her behaviour, even though i am not even sure she fancies me?Any advice would be helpful.
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female
reader, uzer  +, writes (10 April 2013):
To be honest, the best way might be to politely say it straight forward, of course mentioning that you may be misunderstanding though. It doesn't have to be a deep, long conversation, just enough to get your point across. Also, maybe try mentioning your boyfriend a lot, so maybe she'll back off, or even bring him around if that is allowed. But yeah, as bruce said, telling the boss would work well too.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 I don't think you should hate her. She can't help being what she is. But if you want to stop all her advances, you will have to talk to the boss. Ask the boss if she can tell this woman to stop it. That way, you are not confronting her or causing any embarrassment. Well, very little embarrassment.
If you do nothing about it, things could get worse.
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