A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have had some rough patches but the past two years have been great. The only thing is: I don't want sex with him anymore....I love kissing him, being held by him and its bliss to hug him but not sex. I used to be very okay with it and used to initiate but I never had an orgasm.He was my first. Sometimes, he's too rough and foreplay is two minutes for me and ten for him. I HATE being on top sand told him this but he insists. Then, we broke up and I had a lover who was attentive and it blew my mind! It was amazing... I don't know how tell my bf after five years together that I'm not satisfied with our sex life. He's a good guy and we always laugh together so please help?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2015): Don't have sex with him for a few weeks and say It's hormones. Then tell him you need extra stimulation to get your mojo back. Tell him instead of 2 minutes you need a lot if time to get your juices flowing because of the hormones. Suggest the he does the things you read about in 50 shades of grey.
I have to be honest, chances of you untraining him after 5 years of the same pattern are slim.
You can meet someone who makes you laugh and orgasm too you know. Don't settle.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): You fell for the other guy basically out of sexual attraction. Now breakup with your boyfriend, and have sex with the other guy until you get it out of your system. Then decide whether life is better or worse.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 June 2015):
 You could sit him down and say: "Hunchey-Bunchy, I am crazy about you ... most of the time.... BUT I find being intimate with you (Yes... that means having s*x!!!)... is unfulfilling. SO, I suggest that we go our separate ways. That is, I am dumping you. OK????"
That should get the issue "on the table"....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2015):
 If you can't HAVE this conversation WITH him, what you will end up is a total loss of libido and piss poor sex and it's YOUR own fault. Harsh? maybe, but true.
Don't compare him to other men in bed (at least not to his face) because that will NOT help either of you. Tell him that you have not really felt like you want sex lately because you feel sex is just not as enjoyable as it COULD be. Tell him what YOU would like to try (with him) and what you would like him to DO (to you) and ASK him if there are thing HE would like for YOU to change or switch up. IF there are positions YOU DO NOT enjoy, then tell him. YOU are not his personal blow up doll, you are ALLOWED to have preferences. IF you can HAVE sex with someone, you SHOULD be able to TALK about the sex you are having or want to have.
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