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female
,
anonymous
writes: at school i was always the ugly girl and i had really bad spots, i never got any attention from the boys. when i was 16 i met someone and i love him dearly we have been together almost 3years now. as i have grown older i seemed to have got prettier, im not stunning but im not minging anymore. now when i go out i get attention from men and i like it. i really like the attention but my problem is i occasionally act on it. i know i shouldnt and i really wish i didnt but i cant help myself. my BF is away alot because he is in the army,i know this isnt really an excuse, and it does not justify what i have been doing but im not looking for you to tell my that im not a bad person or to tell me that what i have done is ok, im looking for advice to stop me from doing it again. please help me. xXx
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female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Hi ther anon,
I can understand how your feeling and why you are doing this,although you love your boyfriend dearly and never want to hurt him,the reason for your behavier is that as you said that because at 14 you thought you were ugly and you never got any attention from other guys and now you do.. you want to catch up with what you have missed out on from those years ago ..your getting the attention now and you love it ..its makeing you feel good about yourself and theres nothing wrong with that, i think maybe coz your feeling this way, your not ready to be settled down with one person and want to get out there have fun,you need to think about this and what you really want..as its not fair to let your b/friend believe that its him and him only you really want,my advise would be where ever you go like night clubs ect..wherever you get chatted up whenever a guy comes up to you tell him straight 'sorry im not interested' and keep thinking about your boyfriend ,although there is nothing wrong with flirting everyone does it ..it keeps us going ,knowing were still attracted to the opposite sex..but thats as far as it should go.
GOOD LUCK HUN xLEAHx
A
female
reader, candyshopp +, writes (22 October 2006):
 i had the same problem, i wasent all that good looking when i was younger, and then suddently all these guys think im hott, and i have the same problem as you do, well its much better now
if u catch your self flirting with another guy just think in your head, "shoot, i shouldnt be doing this" then just change the way your talking to that boy.
there really isent any way to stop though...i know you dont want to hear this, but its really ok that you do that. sure you might not feel good about it, but as long as you dont take it too far, everything should be ok. just stay away from touching flirting, and "hey i want you" flirting. dont give the wrong signals, and carless flirting with some guys while ur bf's not there, wont kill anyone, it wont ruin ur relationsihp unless you take it too far. but i flirt with all guys, even if i dont try too. it just happens and its hard to control. just breathe and remember that its not the end of the world!
candyshopp
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A
female
reader, beanybikes +, writes (22 October 2006):
firs of all i think you should come clean to your bf about what you've been up to. i was in exactly the same situation as you and i cheated on my boyfriend because i liked the attention. only my boyfriend found out. what hurt him most was that i didnt tell him what id done. we almost broke up for what i had done and thats when i realised that i didnt need attention to feel good about my self i had a great boyfriend who loved me for what i was on the inside and out. and to loose him i would have been back right where i started. all i can say is try making most of the time you and your bf spend together. make it fun and exciting. buy your self some toys for when hes away and when you feeling lonely that way you wont have to go any where else
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