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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I really need some help. I've been dating a guy for just under 3 years and I love him very much. We get along great, don't have too many disagreements and we've had an excelolent friendship throughout the relationship. I really love this guy and he tells me all the time how much he loves me and is happy with our relationship.However, about a year ago, he was living with me for about 3 months (just until he got himself sorted out) and while he was there , I was using his laptop one day. I wasn't snooping or anything, but I was looking at outlook express and it turns out that some of his sent emails were stored there. One of them caught my eye. it was a message to this girl saying he is coming back for her and his feelings for her hasnt changed.Then there was another with him and his ex girlfriend of 8 years, where they were obviously talking about sex.It's been a year since this all happened, but sometimes it crosses my mind. I confronted him about it and he eventually admitted it. but he said he wasn't cheating on me. It all worries me sometimes because I know he was with this girl for 8years, which is way longer than he has been with me.He keeps telling me he loves me and wants us to get married next year.What am I to do? I really do love him. How do I move from being a bit insecure about his 8 year relationship?Plus, he told me 2 months ago that he told his ex he is getting married and she told him she still loves him. He assured me that there is nothing going on between them. But sometimes I can't help but wonder whta they talk about whyen they chat on msn.I remember this one time i was sitting in front of the computer with him and as soon as she signed on msn, he signed out. I asked him if he's scaredwhat she'll say and I will see. He said no, he just didnt want her to harass him.Please somebody help me!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): The baggage he has brought into your relationship is disrespectful to you. If he really cared about you then he would have gotten rid of this ex by now.
Its seems to me that you might be worried that he is cheating on you. hmmm remember trust is everything
All this nonscense isnt your problem and he should sort it all out. Dont get engaged until its all sorted.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 You are either going to have to trust him or leave him.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you have no other options.
Has anything happened (e-mails) since then?
Keep your eyes open.
Don't get engaged/married until you completely trust him.
Good Luck!
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