A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How should you treat a boyfriend/girlfriend?!Do you treat them like a very close friend? A best friend? Something completely different?!I'm having some problems beeing too clingy and dependent on my boyfriend and I would like to stop but I'm not sure how, or even how to act with them.Please help!
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (13 January 2011):
good for you for being aware that you have clingy/needy tendencies. Most people who are clingy/needy never realize or admit that in themselves, and thus never seek to regulate their behavior and end up destroying their relationships.You could have a talk with him about boundaries. find out what he feels comfortable with regarding things such as how often you talk on the phone or text, how much time you expect to spend together, whether you are comfortable with each other spending time with friends of the opposite gender, how much notice you expect to give each other if there are change in plans, and so on. the tendency to be clingy/needy stems from insecurity. You may want to examine your feelings of insecurity and work on building up more confidence and independence so that you don't rely so much on your relationship to provide you with a sense of security or well being. For example, develop yourself as an individual completely separate from your boyfriend - get involved in activities that don't involve him at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Hello and greetings. I think that part of this is your acknowledging that you don't want to be that clingy girlfriend. That is a good sign, because it shows that you want to be the kind of girlfriend he'd appreciate and want. So, how to treat your boyfriend/girlfriend? You would treat him/her the way you would like to be treated. You treat that person with respect, love, dignity, trust, confidence, kindness, you must have communication between the two of you, and you must treat him the way you would a good and close friend. Of course, be you. Be your own self and not someone that you're not. If you do that, you wouldn't be who you are suppose to be and then it'll be weird and you and he wouldn't respect you. And don't forget to treat yourself with love, and respect. Have confidence in you and your whole being, be open to all sorts of things that come your way - like taking extracurricular activities like sports or arts (something you enjoy doing or would like to try out but never have before). You see, when a guy looks at you, the total package, he wants to see a person that is wholesome and someone that loves themselves (not someone that is always flaunting all the time to get attention). So you must look within yourself and ask yourself, how would I want to be treated? What do I like about myself? What do I want to contribute to this relationship. If in the end this is not the guy for you, continue on with believing in yourself, because you are a beautiful person, who thinks of others as well as the wellbeing of others. In doing so, your prospective man/husband will find you attractive and pleasing to him. Start in investing in you and when you start to invest in you and the things you love to do and of course your friends then you'll find yourself not being too clingy to your guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Ok being to clingy and dependant on someone will lead to them finishing with you if you are not careful.
The best way to treat a boyfriend is like you would treat a friend. Its ok to tell them you love them and be romantic but outside of the relationship you also need to live an independant life go out with friends and do other things without your boyfriend. Its also good for him to go out with his mates without you. Dont call or text every 5 minutes people need to be able to breathe in a relationship.
As for being dependant on him, you should be an independant person and never depend on anyone in life. I think you need to work on creating a life for yourself that is all about you and not your boyfriend and also keep in mind that he has his own life to lead as well and if he is out with friends dont contact him just let him enjoy himself.
Goodluck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): A lot of guys value partial clengyness... Like me. So really it truly depends on the guys defenition of clengy. Trying to stop that stuff is difficult, just hang out with friends, but never let yourself stray away from being yourself. Dedication is my defention of clengy:) never change yourself for someone else! cause you are you and you need to accept that:)
-HeliuX
...............................
|
