A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I've been single for nearly two years, and even though I'm not rushing to be in a relationship again, I can't help but to be a little concerned about how I am seen by men and how I interact with them. Having just graduated from college this year, I am definitely ready to move on from the hook ups I've had with immature college guys. Whenever I was interested in a guy, they either did not reciprocate the feelings or were not ready to give up on the college hook up culture. I'm ready to move on.I'm preparing myself to start a new chapter of my life. I hope to attend grad school soon (I don't know where yet), and I know that I'll get a better chance to met new people there. However, I feel like I don't exactly have to wait till that chapter starts for me brush up on my "game" with men.It's definitely been a lot harder, especially in the city, to meet new people. It's not like college where you are surrounded by young people your age all the time. I've had a few chances to meet some people when I am out with my friends in the city. However, I am definitely not comfortable chatting with strangers at bars and clubs although those places seem like the best bet for finding a good gathering of single people who are ready to mingle. This past weekend, I actually got a chance to meet some friends of friends, and I was interested in at least one of them. Besides the fact that the place we were at was pretty loud, I was too shy to even look a guy in the face! And I'm disappointed because he seemed like he was interested. I caught him staring a few times and he tried to talk to me too. This is my problem! I don't know why I can't just look a guy I'm interested in the face. I want to have the courage to just speak up! Sometimes I'm outgoing, sometimes I'm ridiculously shy. I'm been told I'm attractive. I'm funny. I like to think that I have the whole package in terms of looks, brains, and emotional stability. So how can I step up my game? Advice anyone?
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female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (15 October 2013):
 When it comes to Bars/Clubs you do know that you aren't as lucky actually finding a guy to settle down with you actually have a higher chance finding someone there for a one night stand. The question I have for you, are clubs and bars only places you go to?. Is there any other weekend activies that are in that town/city. any open door activies, or even something interesting occurring close by town that you can go with friends. Reason I say that is because I did do a study a while ago, and its accurate.You see going with friends to bars and clubs theres a higher chance of you going to their place or they going to yours for one night with no number, or if your lucky at least get a name. But when it comes to open door activities, or even house parties,bbq's that you or your friends may have you have a higher chance not only getting to know someone but also getting a number. Is your friend comfortable with calling that guy/her friend over and a couple of more people over so you get a chance to talk to him. Having the full package is nothing if your awkward. Guys want someone to keep up with conversation not someone they feel like they have to beg for in order for them to get your attention. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2013): That's just it - it's not a game, no matter what people say to generalise it.You need to be yourself, that is the single most important factor. When you meet someone in natural circumstances, not forced or contrived, it will go better than the other situations where games are played and usually only the types that are interested in hook ups.Also, as everyone says, it's when you don't look that it comes to you. So if you are actively seeking, usually it's exciting and you may meet many, but usually it's frogs who we learn lessons from, until the day when you least expect it, it WILL happen.I speak from my own experiences. When I was really least expecting it, happy in my own skin, with my life as it was, fulfilled and doing everything I wanted to do, a chance encounter while with friends led to an introduction, he took the ball and ran with it and made it happen. So when they are interested, they will pursue and show their interest and take it from there. When they just stare but do nothing, that's all they are doing, looking. When they are truly interested, a guy WILL ask or pursue. So relax, enjoy your life, do everything you ever wanted to do and perhaps while doing it, who knows ;-)Good Luck
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