A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am devastated, as I have been used and abused for 7 years with a man I loved and sacrificed alot for. Last year I gave birth to our second baby and he started mistreating me terribly. He would sleep out 3 nights every week, and bit me up. The last time I wanted to call the police, and he called his mother who was living in the next house and they abused me with physical insults and deregatory remarks. They chased me at night with my 2 babies, one 3 years and the 4 months baby.I had a nervous breakdown. I never apologised and infact supported the mother in the evil deeds - then I later learnt also of his sleeping around. He has actually slept with women who he met on facebook, are from here but stay in the States. He has seduced over 25 women and sexchatted frequently with them and sent them his photos. He has embarrssed me very much. He has been jobless and I supported him for all the seven years, but all he has done is to manipulate, lie, cheat on me and tell lies of situations.He stated to me that am not his type and he never wanted kids. When I asked him a simple question - do you think this realtionship will work, he stated it has to becasue we have kids. He has never ever done anything for me, and he is selfish and want sto always be center of attention. He is from a broken home as his mother has been married twice and divorced, I have been raised to respect the family unit.And now I know with clarity why he treated me so so badly and demeaned me. He has taken away my esteem, pride and enthusiasm. I do not want to be with him because of the children as I cant be with somebody who does not love me and subject my children to such an unhealthy relationship environment. We stayed together but are not married. I want to be with my kids as when they chased me, he did not even fight for the kids to remain - thus has no genuine love for them but wants to use them as well.I want to raise the kids in a Godfearing manner and respect for all beings. When they turn 18 then he may look for them but not before that. Becuase honestly this man I knew I loved is full of so much EVIL.How do I start my journey alone with my kids and break all communications with him and his family.
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female
reader, Anongrl  +, writes (23 August 2013):
I'm sorry to hear that. That is very difficult, that there is no support right there for you, I really hope you do find some help or support somewhere, would you consider travelling somewhere else in your country where they have better facilities? Or even going to another country for some time to get yourself back on your feet. I really hope you'll be free and happy soon xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. However, for us we are not developed as such to have women aid associations. But guess Ihave to do it on my own.
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A
female
reader, Anongrl +, writes (22 August 2013):
Get to your nearest women's aid association. If there is any, I really hope there is for your sake, you really need to just leave the situation, for both your sake and your children.
I don't know what aid is given to women who are domestically abused, apart from, them being given temporary accommodation and set up with a new home etc. but I think thats your first step, you need to find a safe-house that you can get to easily, with your children.
You owe it to yourself and your children to cut these abusive people out of your lives, I would advise you to leave and leave no point of contact, that is just my opinion though, other people may not agree with it. But I feel that you're in a horrible and dangerous relationship and if you remain in it, it could definitely cause problems in your children's lives later on, especially if they see their mother being abused by their father, and you also deserve SO much better in your life.
So all I can say is, try to just leave, seek a women's aid association to help to start afresh. I know it won't be easy at all but I think, in the circumstances you've described, it seems that if you get away and start afresh, you and your children will benefit in the long run.
I fear that if you just tell him that you're leaving, he may submit you to further abuse. However, I would not like to advise you to take an action which would jeopardise your safety.
So, leave the situation in whatever way you feel is appropriate and easiest for you, if that's possible, but I think that if you allow him to contact you in any way, you'll never be free of his abuse.
I really hope you find your strength to walk away with your children and start a new, happy, abuse free life, it's the least you and your children deserve, you cannot stay in a relationship like this because it'll just wear you down and destroy you and affect your children in later life.
I wish you the very best of luck and strength.
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