A
female
age
30-35,
*k1
writes:Hello,i would be very grateful if you could read this and not judge. I just dont know whats wrong with me, my head is so messed up. I am 17 years old and i am currently studying my A2 levels (loads of work), i just recently passed my driving test (which has been a long term goal since 10 years old). I come from a middle class family, and i try to attend church regularly. The things that are going through my head at the minute is awful, i constantly feel down about myself and that i am just the fat ugly one,(ive always been bullied)(not so much now). I am jealous of others (which ive never been before), theres this married man that i just cant get out of my head, i am not sexually attracted to him (the thought of kissing him makes me want to boak). i just kind of hate him but love him at the same time. He only got married last xmas and i find myself thinking about what their sex life would be like. His wife is beautiful and i am jealous because i am fat. can i get any sadder? I find myself longing for a husband and a baby. And surely my life is all ahead of me... i hope to start uni next year, i should be thinking of fun stuff like all my other friends. how do i sort my head out and get back on track? because i cant go on like this. i dont want to worry what people think of me, i dont want to be jealous and constantly think of people that dont really mater to me.please answer bearing in mind help from medical professionals is out of the question.i cant talk to anyone about this.i will appreciate people who answer without judgement because i am a good person. thank you so much for your support.
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bullied, jealous, kissing, married man, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ck1 +, writes (31 October 2009):
Ck1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank you for your respondes, and it has helped me, i guess i just need to be me and stop thinking about other stupid things. I will have all them things some day when i have had a life first. x
A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (31 October 2009):
 What you are feeling is actually normal I think. I hope you don't feel I am being too flip but I sincerely mean it. I think your feelings are magnified because you have taken to beating yourself up about it all and that is what is probably hurting you the most right now.
I see girls your age quite often who are very worried about they're bodies and they think that your body determines your place in the world. This is absolutely wrong! What you are inside determines your place in the world. Nobody can stop you from being successful and happy just because you are too fat or too skinny or you cant do the cha cha, or what ever.
You said you are a good person and I think you are too. You have worked very hard and kept yourself on track when alot of girls start making big mistakes. I will tell you the one small thing you are not doing....being kind to yourself. There are many great things about you that probably didnt make it into this post. Go make a list of the good things about yourself and look at it. You will find that the negative thoughts are not really warranted.
One of the things I do when I am getting too critical of myself is ask myself if I would let somebody talk about one of my family members like that or especially my kid. All that crappy dialogue that runs through your head is unkind and unacceptable. Stand up against it like you would stand up for somebody you love. And the person you need to show that love and loyalty to is YOU!
YOUR PERFECT MY DEAR!
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A
female
reader, AskLadyJuJu +, writes (31 October 2009):
 you have to find yourself and connect with urself and figure out who you are.. you have to love your body and what god has given you ..everyone is beautiful in their own way and there are people that think someone is beautiful and others might think otherwise.. everyone has a different taste..i used to consider myself fat after being bullied so many times in middle school and elementary school but then i looked at myself and i began to love myself because i may have had a bigger body then others but i looked at it like i had more of a figure and an hourglass shape then the skinny people (no offense) that all look the same to me ... i started to say i was THICK not fat ..i was only fat in the right places and if someone had a problem with it then they can mind their buisness.. then i found someone who made me feel even better by saying he loves my body and my lil bulky stomach lol ..so you have to love your body and if u cant find a waY TO do that go to the gym and just start working out and its not to lose weight but to feel better about yourself.. start doing things that will make u feel better about yourself.. maybe volunteer to keep ur mind busy ..and about this married guy and his wife ..i dont get it ? but anyways his wife may be beautiful but im sure u are too.. being jealous is a downgrade to urself it makes u feel crappy because ur constantly wishing u looked like that person not only that but its a turnoff to men when a girl hates the way they look and is constantly jealous of other girls.. i mean think about if u had a boyfriend and ur always jealous because he has pretty friends ..ur relationship will go in a downward spiral..and its not healthy.. so im saying go to the gym..volunteer (keep busy) do different hairstyles .. put make up on .. better yourself for you not for anyone else.. YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR YOUR INNER BEAUTY BEFORE ANYTHING... hope this was help ..goodluck!
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