A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Alright, So I have been in and out of a relationship with this man who is 33 years older than me. I'm 21, 22 next month. I have a great time with him and he is one of my best friends. I'm very attracted to him and we have alot of things in common. All of my friends love him and don't think anything of the age difference. Neither do I, I believe that as long as two people are of consenting age that a relationship between them shouldn't be a problem.Now, from his perspective, he believes that he is "sick and twisted" because of our age difference. Our last break-up was because he was worried about what other people would think. I am the youngest person that he has ever dated and I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one that has been more than ten years difference. My question is how do I show him that he isn't sick? That it is perfectly acceptable? I really like him and at this point could see myself with him for a really long time if he could get over this. What should I do?
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female
reader, EssentiallyMe +, writes (20 February 2008):
 That's a bunch of crap, he isn't playing games with you!! That's what younger guys do! They're all about one night stands and seeing how far you will go, etc. Older guys are wanting to settle down! They're done with all those childish games. If he loves you it won't matter. I'm 19 and my bf of a year and a half will be 46 in May. What you can do, which is what mf bf had to do with me lol is point out the numerous people who have had significant age differences and still sustained successful relationships. Love knows no boundries, and eventually the people who matter the most (family, close friends, coworkers) WILL accept it! Tell him that! The only people who won't are the strangers on the street and they really don't matter do they?Good luck hun, Keep us updated!!! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): I think he is just playing games with you. He's just trying to see how far you'll go for him. And its working too. Like notice how he says to you "oh I can't be with you only cause SUPPOSEDLY I feel sick because of the age difference." And how did you respond?? Just as he wanted. You want to try to comfort him and make him see that its not bad and that you are worth it. Ah, games. You wanna know another sign that he is playing games with you?? If he really did feel wrong and wanted to end it he would have given you a more substantial reason for ending it. Such as, we just don't get along, or I just don't love you. Something along those lines. But the fact that he is basically saying "I love you, but its wrong." Says who? That's not a substantial reason. Its like flashing a steak in front of a dog and then taking it away from him for no good reason. Just a game. That's his tactic to keep you at his beck and call. It shows that he is looking for you to run to his side and prove your worth to him. He's messing with your emotions, dear. Its always going to be something with him. He'll never completely give you his heart but he'll always make you feel like you need to prove more and more to him. And I know because I have BEEN there. The truth is no guy who genuinely loves you would ever make you feel that way. If he really loved you he'd be the one trying to prove his worth to YOU and not the other way around. And the age thing is just an excuse. Like someone below said, "love has no boundaries." If he won't fight for you, I definitely would not fight for him either. Love's a two way street. So if he doesn't think you are worth enough to fight for you and overlook the age, then so be it. Let him be. But do not fight for him. He needs to make you feel like you are worth something too.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 I'm more concerned about you, why are you dating a old man?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 You cannot change a person.He is born that way and his mind thinks that way.It is like the roots of a tree, if he is bent or crooked , you cannot make it straight.
You may try but it would be futile exercise.
Only true love covers a multitude of sins.You are still young and have not seen much of this world .You are idealistic while he is pragmatic.
Think of 10 years down the road and he will be 43 .....Will you still share the same ideals?
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Hi,
You are nearly 22, and its your choice, so of course he isnt sick. So what if there is an age gap, its not like your a child is it. I think that you need to point out that any bad comments that are made about either of you, are probably out of Jealousy. If you two are happy, then anyone else shouldnt matter.
Hope it works out for you both
XX
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Love knows no boundaries.
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