A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a really good relationship and things are going really well with my boyfriend but this married man in my office at work keeps flirting with me and sending me emails. I get on really well with him and have been spending my lunch time with him. I am really confused about what to do about it as it could be so easy to have an affair. I have to see him every day which makes it harder and harder to resist him. What should I do as I dont want to ruin either of our relationships?!
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affair, at work, flirt, married man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Are you willing to risk what you have with your own boyf for a fling with this guy?? You said yourself that "you are in a really good relationship and things are going really well with my boyfriend" You don't want to be known in the office for wrecking marriages etc. You want to be able to hold your head high as you walk into work and not be worried what people are saying and thinking of you.
First of all this guy is married and is off limits. He should know better. All is wants is what he isn't getting at home probably!! The chase is what is keeping him interested at the moment, once he catches you he'll loose all interest and move on to the next conquest.
Just tell him what you told us here about your relationship and that you don't want to get involved with any married man or anyone else. I agee with Cáilín-Deas about making yourself unavailable for lunch etc. Also I would advise you to put the autopreview or reading pane on your emails so you can see what he is saying in his emails before actually opening them - just delete them if they are inappropriate.
A
female
reader, Cáilín-Deas  +, writes (20 February 2008):
I have been in your situation, so much so I was asking myself 'Will I... Wont I'? I suppose at the time I began to feel neglected by my own partner for love so I suppose I felt vulnerable when this man began to show me attention, which made me feel electric-something that begins to fade after being in a stabel relationship for a while... We began a 'Textual Affair' and it almost came to the stage where we were going to carry out our text's on eachother. Then I was sitting at home with my partner one night and I made a decision to just stop. Don't make excuses for this guy, dont feel sorry or guilty for hurting him... Tell him your in a relationship (That obviously means something to you as your asking for advise).. If you feel guilty for hurting this guy, imagine how your partner would feel if you betrayed him with a work colleague...Make yourself unavailable to go to lunch, go out for lunch, even if its only to the shop but start making excuses so that you wont be alone with this guy. Eventually you'll get into another routine... I know what your going through and I know you'd regret it if you went ahead with it...Good Luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Well you've said in your question that you don't want to ruin any of your relationships, so honey, the only way this is gonna happen is if you don't take this any further. Resist your temptation to take your relationship to a higher, more dangerous level, because things between you could never work anyway. He's married, and your in a good relationship, why would you want to throw all that away? I'm sorry to hear you're in a such a difficult situation though. But please, if anything does happen between you, I suggest you tell your partner immediately and don't shy away from it. Good luck with everything :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): You should go for it! You only live once!
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A
male
reader, lostinlust +, writes (20 February 2008):
You should go for it! You only live once!
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