A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a woman whom I felt was "perfect" for me in April 07. This being after being introduced, chatting casually and having a fantastic 6 hour date over dinner and drinks. However she had a boyfriend at the time and gradually became confused. This had led to serious complications to which, not to my knowledge at the time, led to believe that there was no hope and I began to pursue other women, despite my love for her and belief in its potential. Although I never gave up the chance of seeing her and during which she fell in love with me and broke up with her boyfriend at the time, I behaved extremely badly which led to hurt her badly. That is, I went back to my ex during which I was also seeing her and due to my lack of courage to tell her the truth, I lied about it. Since then she had found out and became very upset and lost the trust and respect for me. Since then, I have woken up and went through tough times teaching myself a lesson and learning from my mistakes. I have tried to show her constantly that I have learnt from these mistakes and at opportunities, tried to show her, reassure her that she is the one I choose to be with. Although she loves me, she has issues with the past and gets flashbacks and therefore hides her feelings from me. She thinks more with her mind, by protecting herself, rather than letting her heart to dthe talking. At the same time, for months now, we have been seeing each other until recently but these months have been extremely rocky with tempers flaring, impatience for the "little" things that i do and general disrespect for me while I try my absolute best to show her that I love her dearly, that I want to marry her, and that I have learnt from my mistakes and stupidity and will never repeat them in the way I hurt her in the past.She doesn't seem to let herself accept these facts and my attempts to show her that I truly am determined to make her happy again. I'm not lying to myself as I know I am so happpy just being around her. Nothing else seems to matter.She left me just a few weeks ago and although we have been in touch, I can see that she is being very adamant about her decision, but I know and feel that in her heart she is still in love with me.How do I convince her that my feelings are true? How do I show her that I am not someone who is all talk but am serious about my actions as I have shown her before to make things right again. How do I gain her trust again?Please help as I have tried everything. I go out of my way in every instance to help her, make her happy. Although she says she appreciates it, I think they are only words. She seems to be so hung up about the past as it comes in flashbacks like waves.
View related questions:
broke up, fell in love, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I think what would really make her regain trust, and feel special, is if you write her a long letter. Deliver it by hand. In the letter, explain every little feeling that you have for her. From what you've just wrote in your question, you sound so in love with her and so willing to make her happy, so tell her. Explain to her how awful you've felt for so long about hurting her, and how nothing in the world could ever make you do such things again. Ressure her that there's no other woman in the universe that you would rather be with, and that you want to spend your life with her. Basically, just express everything in it, and make her feel loved again. If you're so in love, then this should be relatively easy to do. Another good reason to write a letter is that it is less uncomfortable than in person, and she doesn't have to rush into decisions that she's not sure she wants to make.
All she'll want is to feel special, and like she's the only one, so try and do this for her. I really hope that everything works out for you, I really do. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hey , i can see where you come from , it is painful to know that the person that you love doesnt trust you . it hurts alot , i have kind of been through that same incident , but mine got better . My advice is that all you have to do is keep talkin to her and keep saying that you really mean it and all you want is for her to trust you again . What i think that you should do is just to say if you want to keep on talking , then you have to trust me , honestly babe i have changed , i do want you to trust me , i would never hurt you , i love you to much , please babe , belive me when i say , i love you and want you to trust me .I hope that it helps , email me back if you have any questions or just need to talk , email me back on prinstion girl , sorry but im at school when i right this so i cant log onto my account . hope it helps xx prinstion girl xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (18 February 2008):
 If you throw a porcelain vase on the floor and break it into thousand pieces, can you make it whole again?
You may stick it back piece by piece but it wont be the same again.
Your efforts will only be futile.
Leave her until she sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
...............................
|
