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How do I set boundaries so he doesn't take advantage of my help?

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Please help!!! I met this man, he is 10 yrs younger than me, im 36. He was wonderful, he lived an hour away and we were together every weekend. His ex died and he got FULL CUSTODY of his 3 and 4 year old kids which he just began to see when i met him after 6 months of not seeing them. He moved to my town and i helped him with everything from getting an apartment to financial assistance. Now im miserable. His kids are not well behaved and he tends to spoil them. My kids are teenagers. He does things like misspend money and some inconsiderate things. He has changed into a different person and I am so discouraged. He lived at my house for 3 weeks with his kids and only offered me $200 to help me out. My light bill was almost $450 dollars this month. If i think of breaking up with him i get anxious and nervous, any advice please?? Why has he changed??? And how do i set boundaries so he does not take advantage of me? as i feel he is.

View related questions: his ex, money

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A male reader, Straight Up1 Canada +, writes (2 September 2008):

Straight Up1 agony auntDon't think he has changed....it just took a bit of time for the "REAL" person to show up like in every relationship.

We all know there is a honeymoon stage... and with a death and custody of his kids...seems like he is needing your help more than a companion and more like a mother!!

I'm afriad there isn't much you can do to change him... and you have bit off more than you are willing to chew!!

Try the sit down and lay it all out on the table talk... I know its hard... but no problem will fix itself if he doesnt see that there is one.

My guess...and chances are...you will need to try remain friends but move on... and he...move out.

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