A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My ex broke up with me a few weeks ago. He told me he lost feelings for me months ago, and that he never loved me and never will love me. He was very emotionless about dumping me (something i learned about him is that he's able to turn feelings off like a light switch and just stop feeling), and afterwards he said he's not hurt, just a bit lonely. I just found out he's going out with friends and girls LOTS and drinking a lot as well. I'm not sure if he's drinking because he's trying to keep his feelings of loneliness down or if he's just exercising his new freedom. He used to drink and go out a lot when we first were dating, and I asked him to stop and he did. What do you think? Going back to old ways or trying to suppress the feelings? I still have feelings for him, so how do I separate myself from the situation to stop being hurt about how emotionless he is, and how he's out with girls, taking them home and getting drunk.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): You know what, it's only been a few weeks. It's okay that you feel hurt. You need to grieve. Be angry, cry, watch sappy chick-flicks, listen to sad songs... whatever it is you need to do. Just let it out!
It sounds like he does block his feelings, which isn't healthy for him or anyone else around him. But you need to worry about you and heal you. Who knows why he's out getting drunk. Could be just to get laid now that he's single, and I know that hurts.
So take yourself over to all your social sites and unfriend him, block him, stop following, whatever it takes. Give it time and you'll get through it. Also try to find some friends of your own to hang out with. Distract yourself when you have to and don't feel guilty for being in pain.
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