A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 years old and I've never been on a first date and thus no first kiss either. People have told me I'm pretty and model-like cuz I'm tall (about 5'8"ish). I try to go out and meet guys. But I've never had a guy approach me. They usually approach my friends. I'm not sure if I'm sending out the right signals or if I just don't have the looks people have said or the personality to attract. How do I send out the right signals? Where are good places to meet men? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Of course they approach your friends. They are trying to get to know your friends so they can get up with you!
Go on an online site, such as www.pof.com. It's where me and my now husband met. I'm thinking guys aren't approaching you, because they are assuming that you are taken. It's their loss to assume, but yeah.
All I can say is, try to be friendly, but not too friendly(as if you are desperate or something), because some guys confuse good looks sometimes with stuck-upness.
Hope this helps,
Amanda
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Dear Poster
I suggest you go to place of interest to yourself;for example, it is no point you go to the golf club if you are not a keen golfer.
You are more likely to meet people that are of interest to you or with whom you will share interests at places you enjoy.
Do you participate in any sports? Do you have any spesific hobby? Do you belong to any charity or voluntary group?
If not maybe you should have a good look at not what you are doing wrong to attract guys, but maybe you are looking to find them or the right guys at the wrong places.
Just was just a thought!
Herewith some information on flirting. Maybe it can be of assistance to you.
FLIRTING
Flirting is one of life’s pleasures. It can be great fun; cost’s nothing and can be good for your health. It can also boost your self-esteem and confidence.
Flirting is also a way of showing someone that you are interested in them and would like to know them better. Many relationships started with a flirtatious encounter; this is a very enjoyable stage for most people; allowing yourself to be slightly risqué; with the knowledge that greater intimacy might follow.
The art of flirtation needs to be practiced wisely; if misused; it can arouse bad feelings and create problems.
The golden rules of Flirting:
DO keep it light; humor is a vital tool for successful flirting. Playfulness is more engaging than trying to be a Casanova or a femme fatal.
DON’T flirt with someone you know has a serious crush on you that you don’t return.
DO maintain eye contact for just slightly longer then normal. This registers your appreciation of the other person without being too intrusive.
DON’T flirt to score points against your partner of to provoke him or her.
DO be aware of your body language. Angle your body towards the person and mirror his or her posture without being to o obvious.
DON’T flirt with someone if you know his or her partner is prone to jealousy.
DO draw attention to yourself by adjusting your hair or clothing slightly; toy with an earring; adjust your tie; smooth your hair back or away from your face.
DON’T overdo it; you are out to have FUN, not to embarrass yourself in public.
Always keep SMILING.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): If people say your are attractive, that's good. Make sure you are doing what you can to be attractive that people won't tell you: Do you wear deodorant? Do you wear very thick glasses? Do you have hair where you shouldn't? Things like this can be helped if you want to make a different impression.
I that isn't the problem...
Do exactly what you're not supposed to do. If you and a guy meet eyes, don't look away for about 2 seconds, then smile and look away (it must be in this order: smile, look away. Looking away and then smiling sends out a completely different signal. Then, let this happen again. If a guy talks to you, turn to face him. Let yourself deliberately look him over as you smile, you know, like you're trying not to AND at the same time listen to him. If this is going fine find any reason to do these things: laugh at something he says (make sure it's not something he is, or did), and find any reason to tough him, that's the clincher. Ask to see his jewelry, but touch it. Touch his hair if you like his haircut, tell him. If you do these things he won't be able to misinterpret your interest. I would keep track of "go ahead" signals from him, before you go on to each of these steps, unless you're more daring than me.
Bars are an obvious place to meet single people looking to meet other single people, at least for the evening. You may also try busy parks, church, whenever possible: dinner parties or social get-to-gethers that involve friends of friends. Online, but that's a whole different set of rules.
Good luck, have fun, be safe.
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