A
female
age
36-40,
*tronglove
writes:I have been with my husband for 2 years.We have only been married for 5 months. We have seperated about 4 times for about two weeks each time during our two years together.This last time we seperated I honestly thought it was the end I even asked him for a divorce.We ended up only staying seperated for three weeks.The first week he was already having sex with his ex-wife whom I had become friends with.We got back together and I am now pregnant.We are from a small town so I found out she was pregnant. So I messaged her and asked her.Yes he had gotten her pregnant and didnt know I was the one to tell him!I have kept in contact with her through messages. She terminated the pregnancy.Yet I dont know how to overcome all this betrayal and hurt?How do I save my marriage after all this?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 June 2012):
 Together for two years married for 5 months and separated FOUR TIMES already. That’s an average of two separations a year… what’s to fix?
Why do you keep separating? I think that looking at what the problems are will tell you if this marriage is even worth saving….
I'm not sure that you can save this....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): "How do I save my marriage after all this?"
If you've been separated four times in two years, there's not much of a marriage to save, especially if he has an ex-wife to whom he went running back and almost immediately knocked up.
You should think long and hard about whether you want to go through with your pregnancy, having a kid with him will tie you two together for life and it's unlikely your marriage is going to survive long-term, child or not, so it's very likely that if you have the baby, then you will end up raising it alone as a single mother.
Sorry, but you entered into an ill-advised marriage that appears to have been beyond "saving" from the start. Best to cut your losses and get out now.
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A
male
reader, Rowdy +, writes (29 June 2012):
Short answer, you save a marriage with love, and with prayer. Now if religion is not your thing, then you fix it with tons and tons of love.
I'm only 18, and I have not even been engaged. But I feel as if I can at least give you some ideas and perspectives perhaps.
From my experience in fixing just dating relationships, it's taken a lot of time, a lot of love, and a lot of prayer. All you can do on your end is continue to love him, to continue to pray, and keep trying to talk to him about it. Sit down together, and try to share with each other everything that's been on your hearts and minds. Make sure it's constructive though, avoid swearing, avoid yelling, avoid insulting, and avoid sarcasm. Just try to have one of those nice, pure, heart to hearts, you know?
And this is a bid thing, don't feel afraid to suggest talking to a credited marriage counselor, that's they're calling and they're really good at it. Reach out for help from others, and reach to your husband with love and patience, and eventually, it may turn around.
Hope this helps, and good luck :)
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