A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I need some advice.. I'm a bit ashamed about this but when I first started seeing my boyfriend over a year and a half ago, I told him I went out with one of my brothers friends before him. I only said this as I felt ashamed that I hadn't had a 'serious boyfriend' in a while. I have had boyfriends but none like my boyfriend now. I didnt want to make him think I was scared of commitment or anything so I didnt see the harm in it. I felt really guilty for lying to him and now my brother is staying with us, and the friend I told him I went out with is always around.. Should I tell him that I lied to him? He's an amazing boyfriend and we're getting married next year, I dont want to do anything to ruin it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 November 2011):
 TEll him and tell him why. It's not that big of a deal IMHO.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 This doesn't sound like anything important at all. If you are so worried about it just tell your boyfriend the truth.
However I don't think it is relevant in any way, nor do I think he cares. Does he even know this friend? I mean, so you mentioned this friend a year and a half ago and haven't talked about him since, what makes you think your boyfriend actually knows who he is, even if he met him?
Here's what I'd tell my boyfriend if I were you and determined to put things straight (although its such a minor issue I hardly think it matters):
"Sweetie, do you remember when we first met and I said I had been in one relationship before? Well, that wasn't really true. I wanted to sound cool, but the truth is I never really had a boyfriend before you. I mention this now, because the guy I claimed I had a relationship with is hanging out here with us a lot now, and I feel awkward about it. You know my brothers friend? Yeah, him, that's the one I claimed I was in a relationship with, but I wasn't."
I don't think your boyfriend cares either way. I mean, you haven't spoken about it in a year and a half so clearly it's not of importance to either of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I don't know that being honest about this is going to ruin your wedding plans. You know your boyfriend better than we do -- is he the type of guy to be very upset about small fibs to save face? You've been with your boyfriend a long time, so I would think he'd be understanding of this situation, especially if you are truly remorseful about lying to him.
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A
male
reader, Htsn47 +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Personally, I think you are worrying over nothing. This was a little white lie that hurt no one. There is no reason you ought to feel guilty over it, and if it was a fictional ex that would never enter the picture, I'd say you should just forget about the whole thing because it is so inconsequential.However, since the imaginary ex is a real person who is around, and it could come up, and since you are worrying, maybe you should tell him. I think if you tell him the way you told us - that you were embarrassed that you hadn't had a serious bf in a while - he'll understand. He obviously loves you. I really can't imagine how this is going to be a big deal. If my gf told me something like this, it would be a complete non-issue and I'd wonder why she was even worrying about it.
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