A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know that my boyfriend watches porn sometime back. But when I asked whether he still watches, he denied. But I discovered from his browsing history, he still watches on a regular basis, at least once a week. He told me these are pop up sites. But from his browsing history, I discovered that he googled for porn too. He then pushed me away, and said that I have invaded his privacy and told me he want to break up. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): MY boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He says he's stopped watching porn, but today, I found pictures of girls in his bedroom droor!
Also, everytime we're in public, he constantly stares at girls.
And I can't stand it..
I have never told him anything about it.
But, should I?
And should I be worryed?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Wow! it's so good to hear that someone else finds yhat it invades their thoughts during sex as well. I told my partner the other day that i had been faking orgasms because of it and he just said 'thanks', like i'd hurt him by telling him! i know he would never consider counselling though.
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A
female
reader, prettykitty  +, writes (3 January 2008):
I know where your coming from.I too have a boyfriend that occasionally watches porn,and continues to behind my back, knowing how much i hate him doing so. We have discussed this.I feel like it is cheating and makes me insecure about myself. It also seems invade my thoughts when we are having sex. Wondering if im good enough. If i'm exciting enough. And there is nothing wrong with our sexlife. Anything goes so to speak.He has said he will stop doing it - many times. Yer right, i get back from hol's of 10 days and again he has done it, and to my horror the day before i got back. He couldn't wait?I have been told by a male friend that if he loved me enough he would stop. So i suppose that if he is not willing to stop for you he is not worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): I too disagree my husband and I are in counselling because his use of porn created huge issues in our marriage..he actually began comparing me and complaining that I didnt look like a porn star after 4 babies...dont tell us its harmless guys
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): I disagree with Abacadaba about porn being something private for men and not really posing a threat to her in terms of "he preferes the girl in the picture" type of thing. The problem lies in the fact that men betray sexual closenes and demand "privacy" when in comes to porn. Sex should be about intimacy between two people and not one person getting of somwhere hidden and "private". this is ugly guys.
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba  +, writes (26 December 2007):
 What should you do?
Well, think, what has he done? Its no big secret that pretty much any boy (or girl for that matter) enjoys pleasuring themselves.
I think that people in relationships see porn as a 'he prefers the girls in the movie than me' which is total nonsence. Thing youve got to remember is hes turning himself on, hes not wishing he had different girls or anything like that.
Hes going to get defensive about it because its personal, in a relationship you get little personal time, so when somebody questions or tries to control that naturally people get defensive about it.
I wouldnt worry, the porn industry doesnt rely on single men alone, married men, men in relationship, married women, women in relationships, it all balls into one. So dont worry yourself about it, i seriously doubt that it will affect your relationship, because i bet hes been watching porn before you too met, so its almost like a habbit.
Its what people do when they are on thier own, nobody else is involved but himself, so dont worry about it.
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