A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, My husband and I have been married only 1 year but together 10 years we have a daughter together.My husband just recently started a new job and has been comeing home tired ..(or atleast how I justify it) he hasn't been showing to much affection, at night in bed I have to ask him if he will hold me, he'll just turn over and say "I am tired " and Sex I am lucky if I get it once a week now. I have for years been a very jealous person and have accused him in the past of cheating on me, inf act now that he isnt giving as much affection I asked him the other day "WHO IS SHE" he didnt get mad just said I was crazy for thinking that way. i have tried to talk to him and tell him how it makes me feel that he does not show his affection and when he does'nt it makes me think crazy thoughts and he blames me says its hard to show affection to I Quote ' someone who thinks he is low down dirty dog" i tell him one came before the other and he states that i have accused or implied he was cheating for years. PLEASE HELP HOW DO I REGAIN MY HUSBANDS TRUST HOW DO I SHOW HIM I LOVE HIM AND GET WHAT I NEED AT THE SAME TIME? CONFUSED
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): I've been in exactly the same position as your husband, with a paranoid wife, long past, thank goodness.
Unless you have some very convincing argument to put forward that he IS actually cheating, ie. stains in his underwear, knickers under the dashboard, his dick smelling of pussy, it would be best to refrain from accusing him of same.
New job. Working hard. Tired. Get home to be accused of cheating. What an ego boost. (I don't think!)
You're going to have to shove the little green monster back where it belongs and stop being so paranoid.
Accuse him of cheating often enough, and he'll think:
"Well, I'm being accused of it all the time so it won't make much difference if I actually go off and cheat for real, and my life will be no different. If I'm going to get the grief I might as well have the fun to go with it!"
It's not so much a case of regaining your husbands trust as him regaining yours, I would have thought!
Instead of asking him to hold you, just put your arm around him and give him a cuddle, or a massage. Run your fingers through his hair which will de-stress him.
Phil
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 Hi,
You should apologize for what you have done and the things that you have said. You should cook him a nice supper and tell him that you are sorry for saying all those crazy things and this the turning point, you are no more going to say that and dont. Treat him better and pamper him. Guys like being pampered.Give him a massage and let him see the new you and soon it would be hard for him not to return the affection.Good Luck,
Mail me if you wanna talk
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