A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so right now I'm having a chat via e-mail with a girl that I really, really, really like (like she is all I think about night and day.) So over the past few months I've tried asking her out, then sending her poetry, then talking to her. She said I was creepy and that she wanted me to leave her alone so I did but now I've fallen back into it. I don't want her to think of me as creepy, it really disturbs her and I don't want that cloud hanging over her head.So in our e-mail message she is once again asking me to leave her along. I've already apologized and she's igonored it.What can I do?Please I need to knowHow can I make her see me as not a creep?How can I be her friend? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Here's the best free advice you will ever get in this world: DO NOT WRITE HER ANYMORE, DO NOT REACH OUT TO HER, DO NOT CONTACT HER. LEAVE HER ALONE. LEAVE HER ALONE. LEAVE HER ALONE.Nothing, I mean NOTHING, you will ever do will get her to "trust" you... mainly because she doesn't like you and doesn't want you in her life. Sad? perhaps. True? Definitely.Continued contact will give you closer contact with other, undesired individuals: law enforcement.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Do you think maybe if I just try talking to her about other stuff I'll regain her trust?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 June 2008):
 I'm afraid that you've already had your answer from her, she doesn't want contact. That's her side of the story, and frankly, pushing her for any more contact IS creepy. It's a matter of recognizing the boundary lines. She's set them at no contact. Hard as it may be to understand, that is all you need to know.
Her side of the story might go something like this. "I don't want to go out with you. I don't want you to send me poetry. I don't want to talk to you. You are scaring me. I want you to leave me alone. You don't seem to understand that I am not interested in being your friend or having any more contact with you. I don't like you."
So I highly recommend that you NOT attempt to contact her anymore. It will only make things worse and will not resolve anything to your satisfaction. Sorry for being so blunt, but you need to separate fantasy from reality.
Call up your friends, and go out and do things with them to keep your mind off her.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 the red flag for me there was the fact that you started emailing her poetry - creepy creepy creepy. romantic? no... slightly frightening? yeah. even if my boyf of 3 yrs started writing me poetry i would run a mile - so if a stranger starts sending it over the internet id be freaked out - no offence or anything. you creeped her out because you were so eager and interested and you didnt even know her - your verging on her telling her friends about her weird internet stalker now. to be honest, i would leave her alone. you have done the damage and i dont think she wants to be friends with you. and next time you meet someone you like, dont shower her with poetry, emails, date requests etc...it looks desperate and strange, despite wat you think.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): "She wanted me to leave her alone so I did but now I've fallen back into it"
We've been here before Mr anonymous. She thinks your creepy, your making her scared. Leave this girl alone, she dosen't like you, your frightening her with your unwanted attention.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I want to ask her if she wants to tell me her point of view of the story, would that be okay?
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 You asked her out, THEN sent poetry, THEN talked to her? You've got it in the wrong order, love.
Talk first. Establish a connection or a friendship. THEN ask her out. If she says no, bummer. If she says yes, good on you.
But lay off the poetry. Unless you've been dating a while, poems will always have a certain creepiness. There's something about the thought of someone poring for hours trying to find a rhyme for your name that is veeeeeery disconcerting.
If she's asked you to leave her alone, then do it. It'll at least show you have some respect for her, and you can go from there later on, if she decides to talk to you again.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): If I were you I'd just contact her a bit less and knock it off with the poetry, anf I wouldn't mention to her that you think about her so much, if she doesn't have similar feelings back it'll just weird her out to hear that stuff.
Play it cool and give her a different impretion of you, take it slow.
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