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How do I recreate that spark we once shared?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2010)
A male Malaysia age 41-50, *L82 writes:

Hi, is it possible to give my some tips on how I am to get back with my gf. We broke up recently due to some misunderstandings. We've been together for 5 years. Now she just treats me as a friend. We still call, we still can go out but not as usual. How am I to do something to create the spark in our relationship again. I don't want to be "just a friend".

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A male reader, happy140 United States +, writes (2 December 2010):

happy140 agony auntDo not think changing for her will change you forever. You have to change for yourself, and then the change will be automatic when you do something. I hate to say it but I believe she wants to move on and is letting you hang on and think it is possible to get back together. Then she has you to come back to if her new freedom does not work. Think hard about why you broke up and use that to become a better person. If she thinks you did not listen then start when you talk to people, do not interrupt. She wants to go, let her go and realize how lucky you are to have been with her. You will know when it is miss right.

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A male reader, JL82 Malaysia +, writes (2 December 2010):

JL82 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I've been totally honest with her and it seems she do not feel the same. According to her, she's kind of tired of giving. I thought about it and I know I've done some wrong things. Mostly I wasn't listening to her when she shares. She says it wouldn't be easy to get her back, and I told her I will keep trying. She wants to see changes in me. Even if I told her I would change whatever for our long term relationship. It's difficult cause even when i'm with her, it feels so cold. Don't feel the warmth like it used to be. Flowers won't work though...

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A male reader, happy140 United States +, writes (2 December 2010):

happy140 agony auntHave you tried just being honest, maybe she feels the same way. The more time that passes the harder it will be. Bring her flowers when you go out (that works to deter men from talking to her. Invite her somewhere romantic WITHOUT telling her where and see if that spark returns, but most of all try to do the things you did when you met her and stopped doing.

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