| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel doomed for life. Except for short periods of time, I don't believe I've ever been with someone where both people felt mutually and enduringly in love with one another. I know people who never fall out of love, and I too have gone through long periods where I have not fallen out of love, but it's only been, so far, with people who did not return the sentiment. I am now 30 and feel like my time is up for this. It's what I live for in a way, but I guess it's not in my cards. How do I reconcile with a life of at least 30 more years of not being in a mutually loving relationship? I don't think I've ever broken a heart that I know of, but my heart has been broken a few times. Last guy I was with probably has no idea how much I loved him, but he is the type to take advantage of and manipulate vulnerabilities, so I dare not tell him how I felt, and I never told him when we were together for the exact same reason even though he was the one out of all the others I wanted to stay with despite his shortcomings. He didn't break up with me. It just didn't work out for us and there's no hope to ever reconcile with him. It feels like that's the closest I'm ever going to get and that I won't find someone I felt so positive about again. And I feel kind of hopeless because he had so many problems and gave me so much negativity in exchange for the good I tried to give him...
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male
reader, caterpillarchapstick  +, writes (25 February 2010):
"How do I reconcile with a life of at least 30 more years of not being in a mutually loving relationship?"here's how: go out there and be the best person you can be. try to look your best while exhibiting your best behavior. touch the lives of others. be the kind of person that you would like to meet and love yourself. i can't stress that enough. LOVE YOURSELF. be the best person you can be and love yourself then people will love you. don't be negative. don't dwell in your negative imagination. there is a lot of magic in positive thinking, trust me. and don't sell yourself short. exert your inner strength.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 I understand what you're saying. I'm 24 and I've yet to be in a relationship where both the man and I are equal in our feelings! It's not nice in either situation, being the one that's more in love OR being well aware that your partner loves you more than you do him. But, I don't dwell on it, if there's love there then does it really matter? Well that's my opinion anyway.You are so young to be feeling like this is it for you. You could be right, maybe it will be another 20 yrs before you meet 'the one' but it could be next year! It's your attitude to life that will attract or push away men. How do you expect to find the kind of good man you want when you have such a bad outlook on life?It's common after a break-up (especially when you still love him) to feel like there will never be anybody else out there for you but if you concentrate on making yourself happy instead of waiting for a man to do it, then you'll find this feeling will pass. Best of luck hun
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