A
female
age
36-40,
*edberta
writes: Three months after me and my boyfriend meet, he came across my old my space moods, he started asking questions about some of them. I didn't know what to do other then lie. Since I lied to him about the my space thing, I had to lie about a lot of other questions since then. I finally came out and told him the truth, we have been together for eight months now. He knew the whole time I was lying to him, we had many talks about him not believing me. He wants me to prove to him some of the things I lie about I feel that now that I told the truth that he should just believe me. But he tells me that I need to prove to him about me past. There are a lot of things I can't prove to him. He says I'm a really good girl friend and he trusts that I am where I say I am. but he doesn't trust a word that comes out of my mouth about my past and who I really am. I've never lied to him about things that really matter. none of my ex boyfriends matter or the would be still around. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but he needs to trust me again and let me in. What Should I do.
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (1 March 2010):
personally i'm a firm believer that what happens in the past should stay in the past. You have done enough proving already by telling him the truth about your my space and he should respect you enough for being honest with him. By reveling your past to him will draw up emotions that you have felt in the past and really its not good. Therefore just tell him that you have told him all that you feel is necessary, and he should be happy with that. If he does not believe that you are you, then myabe he just needs time. Chances are if you were to tell him about your past he would become uninterested anyways..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): There is no way of "proving" your past to your boyfriend.
Time is the best healer.
Ask your boyfriend to give you some time.
Spend more time together.While holding a conversation, discuss about your present relationship and try to be very confident and charming. Avoid discussions about ex-boyfriends, men simply hate it. Don't force him too much in believing you. Show him that past doesn't matter to you, it's only your present life that matters; and you're a real personality. If all fails, then take the help of your friends to convince him. Remember you can never change the way a person thinks, if he really loves you, he will gain his trust in you.
Best Wishes!
...............................
|