A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently took this quiz from a lady who studies about true soul mates and write books about them. The quiz was pretty long, and it said that i met my true soul mate. The problem is, i have a boyfriend, whom i've been dating for 4 years. We are completely in love. I love him so much, and i'd be compltetly lost without him. I had originally taken the soul mate test on him first, and his result was a "he might be the One, but it's not guaranteed". i met my true soul mate just a year and a half ago, and i'm now in love with him, too. My boyfriend and soul mate are both best friends, and me and my soul mate has dated twice (both were affairs). Both times, we only broke up because of my boyfriend.My boyfriend knows about us, but he loves me so much that he trusts me to choose him over my soul mate (he doesnt know that his best friend's my soul mate). I love my boyfriend more than my soul mate, though. Is that normal? And should i stay with my boyfriend because of that, or go be with my true soul mate? Help!
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affair, best friend, broke up, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't believe how much better all your answers made me feel! Because of your answers and the questions you made me ask myself, I realized that my heart truly belonged with my boyfriend, and it always had. I could never have been happy with my "soul mate".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): I used to have a lot of faith in quizzes like that. I also used to have a lot of belief in astrology, horoscopes, people who claimed to be psychic, etc. I relied on tarot cards and various other methods to help me make any decisions in my life. So believe me, I have tried it all, and know how confusing it can all be.
I would often find that the tarot cards/psychic people/predictions/whatever would be in conflict with my OWN feelings. So, I might be told by a psychic, or a quiz, or a prediction to do a certain thing. Yet deep down, my own gut instincts and my heart were telling me to do something else. That was really confusing! In the end though, I would follow the advice from the psychic person or quiz or whatever. I used to think that surely they knew more than me? Surely they could see things that I could not? Surely they knew what was best for me? Surely they have all the right answers, and they KNOW. Surely it is best to listen to them instead of myself. Right?
So I used to follow their advice. And do you know what I have discovered years later? They were wrong! They did not know! They did not know what was best for me! Only I did! Honestly, I have learned that it is important to listen to yourself, to trust in yourself. If your heart is telling you to be with your boyfriend, then be with your boyfriend. I know you must be confused about this other guy, but I think that is only because of what you have read from that quiz.
I know it is easier said than done. But like I said, I have honestly tried it all. And while I do think there can be value in seeking advice through psychic/mystical ways or quizzes, I think that value is simply in order to help you look at different perspectives. It is not wise to base all of your decisions and actions on these things. It becomes massively confusing, and you end up feeling like you are on the wrong path, because you are not making the decisions which feel right for you. You also lose confidence in yourself, because you do not believe in yourself. You become dependent on what other people or things tell you.
To sum it all up, my advice to you is to trust in yourself. Do what feels right for you. If you are confused right now, then take some time to calm down and think. See what feels right for you. And go with that. Have confidence in yourself first and foremost. I hope this helps, take care. x
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Forget about what you think a "soul mate" is. Clear your mind of all the crap people tell you. And who says this lady knows all the answers in the universe just because she wrote I book that was published? Simple choose the guy that makes you more happy. When you close your eyes who's face do you see. When you dream which guys does your subconscious see. Who supports you when you need them? Who do you love the most? I simply don't believe in "soul mates." How is it the person right for you would just happen to live in the area you do? there is an entire world out there. You find a person that makes you happy and feel complete. With them you don't need anyone else.
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female
reader, driftingsandy +, writes (22 July 2010):
I read your article and I think that you can't so firmly base who your soulmate is on a quiz. I think you need to reflect and think who makes me the happiest? Who am I most comfortable with? Who complements me the best. Sounds like it could be a tough decision but also from your age group, dont worry too much... you have a lot of time. Time has a way of changing things, feelings and attitudes. Hope I didn't sound to cynical and that you whichever you choose you are happy!
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