A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I let someone know politely that I don't want to be in contact with them any more? So there's a guy who I used to be kind of friends with in another city. I've met up with him a handful of times and we chatted occassionally on skype. For the past couple of months, I've really not been enjoying chatting to him. He was charged with voyeurism, which probably made me start feeling uncomfortable with him. I asked him some of the details, he said it was stupid that he got caught and acted like he was the victim during the trials. He sends me a text a few times a week, for the past month. I've barely replied, hoping he would get the message. He's also been learning Finnish quite fervently not too long after I first met him (I'm Finnish) and tries to call me up to chat in Finnish. To be honest, I think he enjoys my nationality more rather than my personality. Frankly, now I would rather he stop trying to contact me, I don't want him in my life. I know it sounds harsh, sometimes you realize that a person is just not a right fit for you. How do I politely tell him to leave me alone and to cease contacting me, without crushing him completely?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2016): Be the better person, let him know that, you do not want to be friends, don't just ghost him, then you can block, everything, it really hurts, when they, can't even say good bye
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2016):
 This is easy. It's not like he's in your face he's on your phone!
IF you must you text him and say "I can't be in contact with you any more" and then you block his number, his email etc.
This way you have told him and you owe him nothing. Even if you don't tell him you owe him NOTHING.
Here is the thing about "training" someone. IF you respond AT all, that feeds them. You really do need to blank him or "ghost him" IF you for your own peace of mind have to say something first, go ahead but be prepared for him to attempt to "fix it"
Once you tell him "no more" BE STRONG. IF you don't or can't block him then you MUST 100% ignore him and NOT respond to him at all. Even to say "I told you not to contact me anymore" That will feed him.
Totally 100% ignoring him will work in the long run but you must be strong.
NOT wanting to have contact with someone does NOT make you a bad person. Have NO GUILT over this.
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A
female
reader, Honest-Lu +, writes (18 February 2016):
You can’t be polite in this situation just tell him straight and then he will back off
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 February 2016):
 OP, you honestly don't need to extend any courtesies to this man! Its not like he is a boyfriend or a close friend. He's already shown that he doesn't respect other people's boundaries. I agree totally with Ciar. The easiest, safest and most drama free way to end things is to just block him on every avenue...skype, email, phone. And if he should drop by to where you live, DO NOT talk to him. You owe him no explanations!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 Being 'polite' won't work any more than hoping he'll get the hint will because people like him don't really care about others beyond getting what they want from them.
Save yourself the stress and grief and just block and delete him. You don't need to announce anything.
OP, he was caught peeping on someone. There's your proof right there that he doesn't recognize other people's boundaries. He's a creep so just cut him loose. No announcements and no letting him down gently. Just drop him.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (17 February 2016):
 with him not being physically around you, this is very easy: block his number, email, Skype account... whatever. Then don't ever look back. You are not obligated to tell him anything. Ultimately, after you go no contact with him, it really does not matter to either of you why that is so. Therefore just put a hard, silent block... and that's that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 You just need to be honest with him. Tell him you are sorry but at this moment in your life you do not wish to have any contact with someone who has been charged with what he has done. Ask him kindly to delete your number and then hopefully that will be the end of it.
If he refuses then block his number and all social networking and move on with your life.
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