A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear everyone,I have a problem.I have always thought that I can solve my own problems, but now I think I am not enough... I've read Dearcupid for more than a year now and I see I can trust your pieces of advice and you all are incredibly helpful, and now I would like to ask for your advice.Let me explain my situation. I am an 18-year-old girl, live in a small town in a small country in Europe :). In 2009 I met a guy while I was on a trip with my school. We spent some hours in three with my best friend. Since then we still keep in touch and speak quite frequently. Not every day, there are sometimes even whole months without direct contact but when we talk we get on well.. really.. We speak in english but of course this isn't our own language. I don't speak his language and nor he speaks my language. but this is the smallest problem. He is 25 years old, but I don't think this is a big age gap, so I don't worry about it. But the thing is, during these years, i just like him more and more without seeing him in these years.. just some photos.. I miss him really really bad, and want to meet him as soon as possible. So the problem begins here.I worked all summer to save money for the trip I am planning long ago. I would like to go there badly. He lives in the most beautiful city in the world, in the living history.. Because I know he lives there, it made me obsessed. When I have freetime, I am looking for airtickets, accomodation and everything related to his city.. BUT because I am still just 18, and my mum is really over-protective, she doesn't let me alone. She says she trusts me, but doesn't trust the people there because I am so fragile and so on... and in the end, I can understand her.. But then... how can I go there? I don't plan it as a family holiday, and if I go with a friend, i don't want to leave her alone while I am out with this guy. Because my plan is clearly being with this guy. I want to spend my time with him, I want to see him, to feel him... I don't expect him as a future husband ( as we live far away, and i couldn't stand without him) , I just want to have fun with him... to be with him as much as possible... It would be awesome to find more friends to come, but who has money on MY pleasure? I am really sad about this situation... I have been waiting for this, for more than a year now, and I have the money, and I can't go... :( My mum advised me to go on a round trip, you know with tour guide, who can look after me, but I really don't want it. I am not a child. and I don't want that kind of trip where others tell me what to do... I can make good decisions, and I have good communicating skills. I could find my place.. Please help me to find solution! Thank you for reading this, and please write if you have any ideas!
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 It's frustrating. I get it. Be patient - sometimes the answers will come up on their own.
:-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your advices! it means a lot to me, that you read my post. Lola! Unfortunately, I can't find more friends to come in this period, because of the lack of money :( but this would be the best plan, definitely.. :(Anonymous: thanks a lot for you, too. And yes, this is true. He is also planning to come to my country, I hope he can come, and I can go, too. I trust him. We keep in touch for several years. I don't think he would put me off after all this.. Thanks again!! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): Why can't he come see you? He's older and probably has more means to do so. He wouldn't have to travel with friends and he will if he feels the same way about you!
I fear traveling under the guise of a vacation with friends just to see him may end in disappointment. It would be one thing if you were going anyway and maybe thought it might be an "addition" to the trip if you were to have lunch or something with him, if he were available. It's quite another thing to place such emphasis on him and spend all that money when you don't even know if he is. Anway, he is going to know when you make all this free time for him while you are there and guys get put off when you are too eager and come on too strongly.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (12 September 2011):
There is no harm in travelling with friends. There is safety in numbers.
Is it not possible that you have a couple of friends who would love to visit this beautiful city for their own reasons; for the cultural experiences, for the love of adventure?
Why not look on the internet for cheap hotel rates for rooms they can share or last minute deals, etc., and send your friends an email so they can see it can be less expensive than they might think?
You have not seen this man for a few years. It would be better to travel with friends for your own well-being anyway, just in case you argue with him or he is busy with work some of the days you are there, or something. Always have a back-up plan!
Good luck!
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