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How do I overcome the feeling of not being good enough during sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2010)
A female New Zealand age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have just meet a really lovely guy who is 10 years older then me. he says that he has been praying for someone like me and thinks im perfect just the way i am. sex is really big to us both and deep down im extreamly sexual, the problem is that when i am with him and we are having sex he loves woman on top when i do that for him i worry about if im doing it right, if my body is good enough and ask him as much. when he says thats im doing fine and it feels good, i cant get it out of my head that hes just saying that to make me feel better. i really wish i could let go and just be my sexual self with no insecurities about my body but cant seem to do it and feel really crap in myself and stupid coz he says im good. how do i overcome this?

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (27 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntI think woman on top is a position that makes us feel on display. When we feel insecure about our bodies, this position is a little hard for us. The thing is that men are visual (well arent we all really) and they love to see us while having sex. They arent thinking of our inperfections at all. Believe me, there are a lot of other positions, and if he truly didnt mean what he said, he just would do something different. You might try candlelight. It is romantic AND kind to less than perfect bodies. That can help you relax enough to release your inner sexuality. The sexier you FEEL, the sexier you will become. :).

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2010):

Kenj agony auntI really dont think he would just say that to make you feel better, if you were not doing it right he would most likley take charge, i.e. change position and do the work himself.

Sex becomes better with more practice, if your worrying about if your ok and doing it right then its going to start taking effect on your own pleasure.

If your in a comitted relationship with one partner then sex can become a very close bond between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Try to relax more and enjoy the moment.

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (27 September 2010):

bruce lee agony auntI think you should just go away and have a think about the whole thing. Only you can solve this problem. It seems to be a question in your head that is unresolved. You might need a holiday somewhere.

Good luck with it all. And God bless.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010):

Go with it and concentrate on the sex part. I'm a male, very sexual, and love lots of it. I constantly bug my gf to switch positions. I love it when she is on top. She also has problems with insecurities and doesn't like it as she thinks she is fat. Let me tell you a secret: Guys just love sex. The fact you get on top is already so much better than missionary. The thrill of having you rock on top of him makes him concentrate on the sexual part of the experience and not on the scematics. I promise you that you're doing it right. I'm sure your fine, and for the record, if something is not being done right, even though your on top, it would be his fault. But the schematics and logistics behind that move are basic and simple, and hard to mess up. Believe him when he says its fine.

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