A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I posted this a few days ago but did not receive a reply so re-posting......I am in my late 20's and started Uni this year.I seem to have developed a big fat stupid crush on my tutor....I think it's a crush anyway!I have a long term boyfriend, who I love...but I never stop thinking about my tutor. He is handsome and always looks me in the eye and smiles when he talks. At first I just thought he was a nice person, but now I just find myself missing him when he isn't there. I find myself wanting him none stop.I haven't told anybody about this as it seems so childish, but the other day one of my friends made a comment saying he must like me as he seems to pay me a lot of attention. When I bump into him outside of lessons, he will stop me and talk to me, asking how I am etc which just leaves me feeling weak!In all honesty, he must either be married or gay! he is too good to be single that's for sure.He is funny, obviously intelligent, he knows how to keep my attention that's for sure, and did I mention good looking?I don't know what i'm asking for as I like thinking about him, he makes me smile and feel warm inside. However I realize if my partner thought I had my mind elsewhere he would walk out.How do I overcome this crush I am having?
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (11 December 2014):
 Is he your personal tutor? Or a tutor who only teaches you for a module?
As someone who has worked and taught at University, some staff members can get a little over-friendly with the students. I prefer to keep a professional distance, still being friendly, but not crossing the line, others like to hang out and go for drinks with their students.
Professionally, he would be on very sticky ground if he was to consider flirting/having a relationship with you. It would not go down well with the powers that be. I suspect he is probably just too friendly - trying to hard to engage with the student (you) and sadly you are reading this as interest. Some use this as a way to get their students to be more involved with the work - they become more attentive, more willing to put the effort in, and be involved with the class situation.
You need to step back, think about your own relationship and think about other things.
Crushes will fade. You will also move on to other classes, other tutors.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 December 2014):
 Crush will fade in time. It will take longer however if you constantly dwell on it. Try to keep your focus on your partner. Stay busy and pretty soon you'll be looking back on this with a smile.
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