A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I spent a month with a guy this summer, before he left for school. We knew each other before then, but I was seeing someone else so we kept it to friends. However we started texting after my relationship ended and we found that we both really liked spending time together.Going into the whole think I knew that he was leaving for military school 3 states away, and that the only way I would hear from him, while he was away, was through letters and email. For 2 months now we have made it work, hes called and texted when he gets the ocasional free day, and we have exchanged email and letters. I even went to his regimental ball 3 weeks ago.But things have changed since then, he emails less often and in his past 2 emails he didn't say that he missed me, instead he just said see you soon. I don't know if hes just truly busy, I mean from everything hes told me, and from people I know who go there, their school and training is pretty miserable, or if hes decided that hes done.Hes never been one to share what hes thinking, his own mother often teases him about it, needless to say we haven't said I love you yet, or really even talked about our feelings. Every time hes home we just want to have fun together, and emails don't seem like the format for a topic like love.He comes home at the end of this week, and I guess what my question is is what I should do or expect. I've never really been good at communication in relationships, wich is why my last one was a flop. I don't want to be that clingy needy girlfriend, because I'm not, but I do wand our relationship to be more serious than it currently is. I want him to share things with me and I wand to know what hes thinking. I also would like to know if hes getting bored and if hes going to end things when he comes home over vacation.I do love him, but I'm also very realistic about where our future lies. I'm only 16 I have high school college and med-school ahead of me, and I don't intend on planning my live around him, nor do I expect him to plan around me. I just dont want us to be wasting our time, or if we could make it work. But I dont know how to get him to tell me what hes thinking, or If its even worth continuing the relationship.
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female
reader, Plumb +, writes (29 November 2012):
I think you should just be direct, if you don't then who will? Just let him know your always there and when he needs to talk he can come to you. Ask him what's on his mind and if he seems distant when he emails/calls you then ask him what's wrong.. let him know what your feelings are about the relationship. I do understand that communication can be hard in a relationship but if you want it to last or be serious then the best way is to talk about it.
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