A
male
age
30-35,
*_001
writes:Hi!I suppose I would put it by saying that I've having difficulty transitioning into my new (and first) relationship. I'm at my final year at university and I recently met a guy I really like, and who really likes me back, and we've been 'together' as a couple for about a week now. We have a lot in common, I find him really attractive, and he's very sweet - but the trouble is that he's making all of the moves and I'm beginning to feel something like a 'follower' in the relationship. He asked me out for the first drink, he brought up the issue about getting into a relationship, and he's been the first one to hint at us having sex at some point (though it hasn't happened yet).It's not that I think he's in any way pushy, because he isn't - it's just that I've only recently come to realise how many issues I have building trust with people. My best friends are all people I've got to know over the space of months and years, and while I would happily talk to them about almost anything, it feels like I'm having to get to that stage with my boyfriend in a much shorter space of time and I have no idea how to do it. It's not that I wouldn't have made the moves that he did, it's just that it would have taken me far longer. I want to be able to trust him and talk to him about everything, but no matter how much reason I might have for doing so, I am still instinctively defensive when talking to him.I've always had low self-esteem, and so I've always been much more comfortable with the whole one-night drunk hook-up mentality than the traditional dating thing. That clearly plays a big role in how I'm feeling. I suppose I'm just finding it hard to believe that someone could like me so much, and instead that I'll say the wrong thing and it'll all go wrong even though he's said several times that that won't happen.So yeah - if someone could give me some advice about how I might be able to, I don't know, open up and trust my boyfriend a bit more I'd be really grateful. I'm not sure how silly this all sounds! Thanks very much. :)
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female
reader, pepper  +, writes (22 February 2015):
 Hi hunny
You say you have been together a week, That is a short period of time and trust is earned over a long period of time, It's great he asked you out. It's great he spoke about wanting a relationship but it's all very quick..You need to get to know each other, if you both like each other a lot then I suggest you take things slowly. And just tell him you want to as any good relationship takes time
Hope this helps, Take care *Peps* :)
A
male
reader, GloomyDoom  +, writes (14 February 2015):
Explain that you want to take things slowly. You can't overcome self-esteem issues overnight. If you move too quickly with this issue at the back of your mind, you'll second guess yourself and may possibly sabotage your blossoming relationship.
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