A
female
age
30-35,
*cythe
writes:I've recently started dating this great guy. We went to the movies last week and he paid for that (he bought the tickets beforehand so I didn't really have a say). Now we are meant to be going out to dinner later this week, and I don't want him to have to pay for it all. He comes from a well off family so I don't think money is much of an issue for him, but I don't come from money so it's awkward for me. I think its unfair if he pays for everything.How can I broach the subject of splitting the cost of dinner? I think he would probably pay by plastic so should I leave money in his car? Any suggestions will be appreciated.
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female
reader, scythe +, writes (17 January 2008):
scythe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi all,
Thanks for your replies. Dr Vendetta you are hillarious... seriously :)
Anyway, the date went alright and before we started dinner I asked him if we could split the cost. He said ok, then said 'are you sure, i mean i can pay' but i said i was sure since we are both uni students (he does come from a well-off family, but students are students afterall.. i should have probably mentioned this in the question).
A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 I think the idea of 'leaving money in his car' is slightly out of the box per say.
I suggest offering to pay for half of the dinner, and if he refuses to let you - then accept that.
I won't let my boyfriend pay for ANYTHING, EVER, and it's driving him mad, so now i have to give in a little. He say's it makes him feel 'less like a boyfriend' if he doesn't do the traditional thing and treat me.
You should explain that you feel bad to your bf, about him buying everything but if he doesn't mind and it's going to cause more of an issue if you refuse to let him pay for things, you should probably just feel special and enjoy it.
Best wishes,
Miss K
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (14 January 2008):
 There's nothing wrong with you treating him. In fact I think it's nice you want to treat him too. Afterall, he's treating you. Perhaps he can pay for dinner and then you can pay for after dinner drinks just to say thank you?
I like to treat my girl too, whether it be cinema, theatre, dinner, weekends away. But just a thoughtful gesture now and then is all I need - a kiss and a cuddle goes a long way too :)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 When a man dates you and you offer to pay your half of the bill, it is an affront to the man. The men do not like it. You are indirectly telling the men that he does not earn enough to pay for the dinner with you. If he wants to date you , he will pay for everything . Your being nice to him is his rewards.
What you are doing is not friendly in his eyes. Since he is well off, you just enjoy your meal and thank him. That will be enough but if your conscience troubles you, go get a small and affordable present and give it to him as a token of your thanks. It is the actions behind it that counts.
If he is an average earner, then after the first few meals, you can offer to split the cost of those dinners. That will be welcomed by him.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (14 January 2008):
 Bloody women...
Ok. i know we're not in the 1950's anymore,
where you take your :
"Gal" , "Dame" or to a lesser extent your "Broad" to the Box Social or the Drive in.
Hell or even Make-out point.
Guys have.. ( usually ) always paid for the meals/stuff because its the stereotype of them being the bread winners.
I myself. usually don't have much money ( actually none ) but when i go on a date i always pay.
Why? because i'm a F*cking gentalman! because its the right thing to do, its how i was brought up. The last girl who tried to pay for a meal, i told the waitress that she had stolen the credit card from a poor little old lady off the street just before we got there and not to accept it.
As you can undertand i never saw her again, but i did end up paying for the meal.
So.. don't feel bad. just let him know you appericate it, don't leave money in his car. just let him knwo you're not made of money and it is appericated.
and he's from a rich family you say?
Does he have a single sister?
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