A
female
age
36-40,
*lare123
writes:im currently getting over a hard break up and really want to move on but its so hard!my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago and it broke my heart, we had an amazing relationship but then started arguing about petty things and he could not handle it whilst being at university. at first we were not friends becuase i hated wot he put me through, 3 weeks after christmas he already got himself a new girlfriend which has made it harder for me to move on.since the break up i have rebuilt my life again, been keeping fit, made new friends and existing friendships stronger and im really happy with who i am agin, but i still really love him!I have to have some contact with him becuase we have the same friends and we get on well and hes nice to me. I know i have to move on because he doesnt want me anymore but no matter what i do im still so in love with him, cant stop thinking about him and dont know how to move on. any advise of what i can do???xxx
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broke up, christmas, move on, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, billy anderson +, writes (31 March 2011):
i went through similar thing. horrible experience. girl of 6byears dumped me. we ended very civilly. she said her feelings had changed. she moved home. extremely low but now 4 months on i am starting to feel bit better.i tried to be nice. never contacted her and respected her decision. she always initiated contact every 2 weeks. we met 2 times and every time it was her crying and hugging me etc. etc. she wishes me best, etc etc. this give me hope but really what it did was keep me hurting and hoping.This prolonged my agony.i can see it now. no contact is def best way. cut all ties. i got on well with her sister and she still txts me odd time. weird stuff this.i would say i def felt better when no contact, exercised, got involved with team and started kissing girls.this most traumatic period of my life but feel im learning about me me and me.think these things. i want her back, i know she not coming back now after 5 near 5 months so now i dont hope. i made decision to move on and hope she doesnt contact me as this interferes with my healing. however i still love her . i know this ironic but prob only way.if they dont want us as lovers then we should not allow them to pick and choose us to be in their life when they choose. take power back and disappear and enjoy life. life tough but one day we will look bqck at this as great life learning experience and hopefully be happy with someone alse.goodluck!!!1
A
female
reader, clare123 +, writes (12 February 2008):
clare123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI no that i should do the no contact thing for a month, iv bin trying to do it for 3 weeks but keep lapsing!!!the thing is my best friend who im not willing to loose lives with my ex around the corner from me and so do two other of my close friends.when iv bin around him wen wer in a group iv got on really well with him and can deal with things, im happy and confident and enjoy the time we all have togetherits the times wen im on my own and i think of all the things we used to do 2gether and the amazing relationship we had and how in love he was with me only 2 months ago. thanku for the advice and i am gna try have no contact with him, i no i will c him on nites out and i say hi and am polite but apart from chance meetings i wont have ne contact.
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A
female
reader, clare123 +, writes (12 February 2008):
clare123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncrazy candice thank u for your advice, and i have been getting out ther, and been on dates, had fun like i used to before i was in a relationship, i used to be miss flirt up for a laugh and never got into anything serious until i met my ex. i am looking for fun but i dont think i can do the whole slutty thing agen even thou im at uni lol i think i would have found things easier if my ex hadnt of got with someone so soon after our breakup when he was the one who wanted to be single, but then i also think iv learnt to live without someone and have started to move on the right way weras he has jumped straight back into a relationship.i will try and go on more dates, im at uni so its not hard to find guys! haha
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A
female
reader, Crazy-Candice +, writes (12 February 2008):
 something similar happened to me last year and I still have feelings for my ex and stuff. break ups are so hard and tough but I'm glad to hear your still keeping on top of your life! well done....
the best thing thats worked for me is dating new guys, getting a new boyfriend, dating one or two or more guys at once, even being a bit slutty is fine!
things like this definitely will help take your mind off that other guy even though they sound bad.
put yourself out there, meet new guys and try and forget him ~ you might even find guys that are hotter than him and have a bigger penis! lol!!joking.....
;)
don't take guys too seriously. make 'fun' your motto,
even experiment new things, life is way more exciting when you let yourself go a bit ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): To be able to move on from this guy you need to break all contact with him for at least one month if not more. Just to get him out of your system.
You are heading in the right direction tho by keeping yourself occupied by keeping fit, making new friends etc. I was the same when I split with my ex - we had the same circle of friends and so in order for both of us to move on with our lives one of us had to make the decision to break contact and in the end I was the one that did it. I moved away, changed mobile numbers etc and it was the best thing I did both for me and my ex.
More than likely you will always have a place in your heart for him but you will realise that as time goes on that will change from love you have know to just friendship. Don't waste the best years of your life pining over this guy - move onwards and upwards!
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