A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was going with a boy for 18 months but we broke up about a xmas 2005 as he wanted a break, however for the last 5 months we've been seeing each other, its usually only once or twice a week, however i speak to him on the phone once or twice a day and we are constantly texting, but to other people were just friends as my friends and family are worried he will hurt me again. Were so close and tell each other everything, were very much in love again but are still not official. We get along really well, but i always worry about him when hes out clubbing and things, as because were not official he could kiss other girls this worries me so much because to me hes mine! I told him the other day that the past three months i haven't kissed anyone when i've been clubbing because I'm so in love with him again but he didn't reply to this.He also has lots of female friends who hes always spending time with especially one girl who i am incredibly jealous of as i found out she sleeps at his house and when i was dating him years ago she told me she had feelings for him.The strange thing is i want him to ask me to be official however i'm not sure it is what i want! i just want him to show me some other form of commitment so i know that i'm the only girl he needs to kiss!i love him so much and really don't want to lose him but the thought of him kissing someone else is driving me crazy!does anyone have advice for me?Sorry for this being so long.thank u x x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): It sounds like he isn't ready to be in a commited relationship. If that is what you want, then you need to find someone else who is ready. Seems like if it didn't work in the past then it won't work now. Especially because you said he didn't reply when you told him you never kiss anyone else. He was probably thinking "I do" but he doesn't want to lose what he has with you because He likes the attention and the friendship you share. When you're this age, partying and clubbing seem to mean you're not ready to be commited to anyone seriously. Unless you're partying and clubbing together every time. Don't worry too much as you're still young and need to live life before being serioulsy involved. And the guys your age do too and it sounds like that is what this young man is trying to do, live his life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Well, hun, if he hasn't made it official, then you really have to weigh your options. You can continue to worry and wait, or you yourself can stop putting your life on hold and get busy with other things that you are interested in besides clubbing and stop focusing so much on him.
Men like to be the pursuers in the relationship, and we have to let them think that they have to win us over, not the other way around, or he will lose respect for you and his interest will wane....he knows you are sitting home worrying about having an official relationship while he is out clubbing without you.
If I were in your shoes, if the relationship was not exclusive, I would continue to be a lady and date around, not sleep around, and he will take notice, if he wants the same thing as you do, he will ask you for the commitment.
Good Luck.
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