A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We started off good but he started drinking heavily and we seemed to just start fighting. We would break up and get back and so on. We got engaged 2 years ago and bought a house. Five months prior to our wedding (Feb 07) he calls me at work and tells me it is over. I moved out and we started seeing each other. The drinking by now is awful, 15 -22 beers at a time. He goes in his car and blares the music and drinks and drinks. Anyway, I've asked him to please stop the obsessive drinking (I like to have one or two) and partying and not coming home. He tells me he wants to drink and thats that. I have a son who has known this man to be daddy for the past 6 1/2 years. He calls me a week ago and tells me that it is over he has had enough of me and the drama and he is also going to quit drinking. Why now when that's all I asked is he going to stop drinking, it is like a shot in the heart. Plus he told me he has to deal with his problems before he can have a relationship, yet he is still associating with his party friends who drink and drink and pop pills. But he gets rid of me. How do I make this pain stop. I realize he is a loser but he still wants to see my son and vice versa. HELP!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): I have to say that maybe its time to move on. You seem to be going round in circles and things don't seem to be getting any better. Its not good for your son either to have a role model that drinks all the time. He needs a mature and stable male to guide him. It seems to me that you care for this guy alot as you keep giving him more chances. Give yourself and your son a new beginning. This guy will not make your life easier... Ever. Good luck and I hope you find strength to deal with this x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): heya girllll..
okay, what im gonna say now you might not agree with and i fully understand because i dont know your relationship as much as you do, from what you hav told me, i seriously reckon that you should let you boyfriend focus on himself, if hes broken up with you, agree with it, even if he does carry on partying away like a silly banana, at the end of the day this will all pass, my uncle is an alcohlic, and to be honest with you, he hates being told to stop, even though it breaks everybodys hearts to see him drink, one day your man is gonna realise that you was the best thing that happend to him, he could hav had a nice home,son,and wife but he let it all go..usually with drinkers there is always a underlining issue..is he depressed about something?..i think its time you both had a break, when he has sorted out his problems then bring him back into you and your sons lives, is this really the example you want set for your son, you are obviously a great mother, please focus on your self..(i know it easier said than done)..you are young, so goo out there aand make the most of life, get a career, a new look and focus on how your son is doing in school, go to his sports games (you might meet a handsome young single dad;))..and most of all realise that he hasn6t ended it with you because its your fault, at the end of the day it because he has a drinking problem, and at the moment hes refusing to belive it..take a step back..when you was younger was this the 'dream guy' you wanted to be with..? is this how you wanted to be treated?...find sum strength and faith and you willl do great..have a clean break..dont answer no calls or reply to messages..espesh if he is refusing to get help..:) xx god bless and good luck to you and yourz!!
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