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How do I make this man happy so that he will always love me back?

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Question - (30 December 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am a young lady who just met a guy whom after a long time friendly friendship, proposed to me. I said yes, so we now have a relationship to manage.

my quesion is, how do i make him happy so that he will always love me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005):

I agree fully with the previous annonymous poster. As a man, I'd like to ad that if you want to remain attractive to a man, self-confidence is the key. More important than any make-up, exercise, or self-improvement is how you *feel* about yourself. I personally find confident people to be the most attractive. Of course, this is just one man's opinion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005):

They're right - you can't 'make' anyone happy, and being yourself is the only way to be. But remember that love is more than a feeling -- it's a commitment; an act.

To keep a strong relationship, start by always listening. Let him tell you what's bothering him, but don't try to solve things. Often, he just needs someone to hear him.

Be interested in the things that interest him. This doesn't mean you should drop all your own interests -- you MUST remain your own person, with your own interests and life, since that's what he fell in love with, remember. But take an interest in the things that are important to him. If he's obsessed with sports, there's no need for you to become a walking encyclopedia, but learn the names of the teams and to enjoy sports enough that you can sit with him while he watches a game.

Be kind and gentle, even when he is not. This is a hard one, but the thing people most often forget is that, while it's true that relationships require compromises, that doesn't mean 50-50. Sometimes it will be 0-100 - maybe for a long time. The way to keep a relationship strong is to recognize when your partner isn't strong/mature/objective/selfless/patient/etc. enough to be the one to make the change. When that happens, you're the one who will have to change, no matter how hard it seems.

Always be ready to forgive - really forgive. Try to make him laugh when you can; when things aren't going well for him and he's been in a bad mood for days, or even weeks, be the one to ignore the crankiness and remind him you'll love him no matter what.

Love and relationships are hard sometimes, but they can be wonderful. It sounds like you've found a great guy, and that the two of you are committed to a future together. As long as you both love one another and are committed to the other person's best interests, the relationship may not be smooth sailing, but it will continue. The best way to be maximize the probability that 'he will always love you back' is to always love him first. In 15 years, when all his habits that were endearing when you met have begun to annoy you more than you thought possible, find the will inside yourself to remember how much he means to you, and treat him then just as lovingly as you treat him now.

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A female reader, curious_kitty +, writes (30 December 2005):

curious_kitty agony auntI think the best thing to do is just be yourself. He has obviously fallen in love with the person you are otherwise he would not have asked you to marry him. hope this helps goodluck and be happy x

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A female reader, StarNews +, writes (30 December 2005):

StarNews agony auntI dont think you can "make" anyone happy, hapiness comes from within. When you do find someone you want to spend your life with, you will feel complete with them. There is no guarantee that your love will last forever, but you sound like you are off to a good start, since you were friends for a length of time.

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