A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can someone please explain to me what just happened to me?? Theres this guy I like...he is 26 and im 21 (22 next week) and we get along amazingly. We flirt all the time through text and through an msn type chat and I sometimes see him at work and we talk there for ages and flirt yet again. I see him every weekend too and it must have been around a month and a half ago we ended up kissing.Couple of weeks after that we made out yet again and pretty much have done since then...he tried to get me home twice for sex to which I said no because I dont wanna be easy.Well I finally went to his house this week and had a great time, we talked and realised we have so much more than initially thought in common we watched DVD's and it was a really good time. And then last night I again went to his and ended up staying the night, slept with him in his bed but we didnt have sex. We did the usual watching movies, talking, were flirty with each other and I was there from 8pm friday until 5pm saturday.Well tonight I seen him in the first pub I went to, he was with his friends who I dont know and I was with mines and we said hi and hugged and just went back to talking with our friends and they left after us having been there for a half hour and when he went by me he like poked me on my sides and said bye.Few hours after that we're in the nightclub and I see him again...this time he is pretty damn drunk and he's flirting with some girls and with his friends...thats fine doesnt bother me at all but when I went to talk to him he said 'I dont wanna be a d**k here but im actually looking for someone else right now' (as in some other girl to take home so he can get laid) to which I actually said yeah ok thats fine (which in my head clearly im hurt) then he looked shocked when I said that and I just looked at him and was like what? and he didnt say anything and I then said what? what do you want from me? and again he looked even more shocked than he had last time and then kissed me to which I pulled away and was like uhh you said your looking for someone else right now remember and then his hands went in his head and after that he just was totally wasted...sitting by himself on a chair with a bottle of water and leaning over hands covering his face.I went over asked if he was ok to which he nodded and then I said I think you should go home, do you want me to walk you back and he said no.Closing time then came 10 mins later and he stayed there a while, I went outside with everyone else and then I saw him stumble out by himself and start walking home alone (he lives like 2 mins from the nightclub)...I texted him to see if he was ok and got home but he hasnt replied.What happened here? whats going on? Im sooo confused!!! Any insight especially male would be very much appreciated!
View related questions:
at work, drunk, flirt, kissing, msn, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 In my opinion this all is just down to having to much to drink. He was that drunk he did not know what he was doing or what he was saying, and my guess is that he is not contacting you now because he is really embarrassed. Good for you that you did not give in to having sex with him when you are not ready. I guess he was drunk and horny and that was it. Maybe he feels you don't like him back. But it does sound like he is in to you. I do blame all of this purely on alcohol.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): Seems like he likes/liked you but maybe since you two never had sex, maybe that turned him off and he try to resort to easy girls from the bar. Many men get fed up if a womam tries to play too hard to get. It's pretty embarrassing of him to get that wasted in my opinion.
...............................
A
female
reader, Happy_Heart5 +, writes (8 January 2012):
Oh my, I had the exact same experience with a 26 year old! :-OThe texting...flirting...staying over...pub...club...So I can relate to how you are feeling and why you are so confused.Sounds like he is a bit of a charmer. Why? To get you to fall for him, to get you to sleep with him more quickly. But love wasn't built for speed. Yes he texted you. But if he was truly interested he would have wined and dined with you, taken you out on dates. Did he ever take you out? You may have been led to believe that he was making lots of effort with his charming flirtatious texts. However texting takes no effort at all. Whereas taking you out and spending money on you would have. This in itself infers that he wasn't interested in getting to know you. He was in it for one thing. No strings attached.The guy I was seeing rarely wanted to go out or meet up. He only ever wanted to go the pub with me or wanted me to go to his apartment. Eventually I did go to his. We watched DVD's, kissed, flirted etc.. All very wonderful, but he then soon got me into his bed. Innocent little things to begin with but behind were guilty intentions.Pub situation, also happened to me. The guy I was with just stayed at the bar talking to his friends and made no effort to talk to me, only word he really said to me all night was goodbye when he left, he then went elsewhere. Him not talking to you shows that he didn't have any intentions of getting to know you as a person. He didn't make any effort to get to know you. If you truly like a person, they're the only person that you see in the room. They're the only one you want to talk to. His friends are always going to be there, but this one girl, she isn't going to be there forever. He didn't appreciate you.Drinking with his friends was obviously more important to him. He left early because you showed him that you weren't easy. So to him you wren't worthwhile (worth his time) He wanted someone easy, to have his pleasure quicker.Someone worthwhile won't be easy, someone easy won't be worthwhile. Seems as if you only were with him when he was drunk. Drink can take away one's inhibitions, make them braver, bolder. It's as if he didn't want you to see the real him. Why? Because you would've seen his true colours. This would've stopped you pursuing him quicker.Drunk? Flirting with other girls? This guy is NOT even worth your effort or time. From the start you shown him that you weren't easy. You had your wits about going back to his, you didn't show that you were desperate (you didn't talk to him at the pub), you didn't have sex with him.He therefore flirted with other women to find someone easy, for obvious reasons. He is a dick, one that isn't worthy of you. Take it as a warning from him. My advice to you now is to cut off all contact with him. If he tries to contact you, ignore him. I know this will be hard. But there's a good old saying...If you love something let it go, if it comes back, it was always yours.You liked him, but you have to let him go, if he comes back, he was meant to be.He didn't get what he was after did he. So he moved onto his next target. He wanted someone easy, and luckily that wasn't you.Well done for not kissing him, well done for saying what you did. You showed him that you were strong and dignified, and most certainly not easy!You will do well in life and the right person will come along in time :)
...............................
|
