A
female
age
41-50,
*issies4ubaby
writes:I can never seem to enjoy sex anymore, i have a son and ever since i have had him i havent enjoyed having sex. My husband and I's sex isnt very good, it only ever lasts 5 minutes tops. Do you think this is a contributor to me not associating sex with a good time, i always think of it as a hassle??
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male
reader, mulattoman  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 There are a few ideas I have on the top of my head, but it requires you to spend some money.
Play "dress up" and role playing –teacher and student, nurse and patient, French maid, or even slave and master. If you are not into role playing you can just simply purchase lingerie and giving him a lap dance to start things up. A lot of men have fantasies of just having sex with a girl who has long panties on and sexy shoes. You can even buy HIM sexy clothes.
You should talk to him about it, and try taking him to an adult store to browse your possibilities. If you’re not comfortable with sex toys, you can use some simple things: love cuffs (hand cuffs) to bind your partner, or silk clothe to tie each other down and have your ways.
Turn it into a game. Get some dice, and for each number right down a sexual act you fantasize about. Roll the die, and whatever number it lands on you do it. For example, get chocolate syrup or whipped cream and each number represents a body part you lick the topping off of. You can buy games online such as "Pleasure Island."
The possibilities are endless! Good luck and I hope you have fun.
He might be one of many unfortunate men who suffer from premature ejaculation. There are plenty of articles on AskMen.com about controlling that (Kegel exercises – strengthening his PM muscle).
Another possibility is that the foreplay lasts too long or you are focusing too much on the head of his penis and providing too much stimulation. Foreplay should be a tease nothing more. It’s just a way to heighten the sexual arousal in both of you.
The last thing I can think of is that he isn't controlling his breathing – and that plays a big role in controlling one's orgasm. Maybe he is thinking too hard about NOT cumming because you could be intimidating him in some way (perhaps you said something to offend him). Also, thinking about cumming will only make him reach orgasm even sooner. So tell him to think about something else and to focus more on pleasing you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): It is normal that women go off sex after having a baby I was the same fisrt time around but I was also suffering with postnatal im not saying thats what is the matter with you however. Just give it time why dont you try new things that he can do to you that you will enjoy and hopefully get aroused. I dont know how old your son is but when your tired after a long day of been mum it can make you feel like all you want is bed nothing else. It does not have to feel like an hassle honest you can slowly get yourself back into enjoing it again maybe get a babysitter and spend the evening together have a meal and make it special for you both good luck.
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