A
male
age
36-40,
*efcon88
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 2 months now, but my best friend seems unusually close to her. I met my girlfriend at the beginning of school, when her, my best friend, and I hung out a lot for about 6 months until her and I starting going out. She told me that she used to like my best friend but doesn't anymore and just considers him a close friend. But he texts and calls her everyday and sometime I find him talking about her to people and bringing her up out of the blue as if thats all he thinks about! And then what really sets me off is when I go to visit my girlfriend in her dorm room, he will be there doing his homework or helping her with her math homework, or if he isn't there he will show up and just come in as if we invited him. He is also under the impression that he is going to visit my girlfriend over the summer when everyone goes back home, but I am definitely not alright with that. How do I tell my best friend that he is getting too close to my girlfriend, especially when my girlfriend always just says, 'It's no big deal, he's like my best friend.'
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male
reader, defcon88 +, writes (27 March 2008):
defcon88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I talked to my girlfriend about it, and she says that she isn't attracted to him or anything like that, and that she just sees him as a friend and I trust her. But she still texts him everyday and I asked her why, and she said that he is funny and that she is bored when she is home from college so she just texts people. She also said that she invited him to come down over summer and I really didn't like that. I kept talking to her about it and she said that he wouldn't go down by himself but with me, and that he probably won't because he doesn't have enough money. So I took the advice and wrote him an email, because that was the only way I felt comfortable telling him. So I said that I feel he is a little too close, I don't feel comfortable having him visit my girlfriend over the summer, and to maybe tone the texting down a little bit for me. So hopefully he will be a good friend and start to tone it down, because I would do it for him.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Every waking moments of your life, you will be with her to
thwart your best friend from having a close rapport with her.
Be there all the time if you can.
Do not have to say anything or you will be shunned by the both of them.
You are going to be a threesome until your best friend give her up.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (26 March 2008):
Im going to disagree with the majority of responses telling you that you should just trust your gf. Its not a issue of trust, its a issue of your friend stepping over the boundaries. I dont think his behaviour is very appropiate. You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him exactly what upsetsy ou and how it makes you feel. Dont accuse him of making moves though, as this will cause more trouble. Just state what upsets you and how it makes you feel. From there, hopefully he will be considerate of your feelings and back off. Dont tell him to 'back off', you cant demand him to do that. I think the best thing to do is let him know how you feel and then yeah, hopefully he will stop. goodluck.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Let me tell you this: I was in the same situation, but I was the woman. His best friend flirted with me, I flirted with his best friend, but it never became anything serious. I just had a crush on his friend.
Well his best friend started lying about him, making up things, etc. and long story short, him and his best friend are no longer friends. He had tried to tell his friend to back off, but his friend wouldn't.
Sweetie, I know that this is not what you want to hear right now, but you've got to TRUST her.
1) Tell your friend he needs to back off some.
2) Talk to your gf and tell her that if he hits on her, to tell you.
As for "It's alright, he's like my best friend," ask her if you are one of her best friends as well, because even though yall are bf/gf, yall should still be very close to the point of being best friends as well.
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A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha +, writes (26 March 2008):
 The real question is do you trust them. Do you trust your girl? Do you trust your friend? If you do than you don't have a problem. If you do not than that is the problem. Why don;t you trust them? Are they trust worthy? If not then why are you with them at all?
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