A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years... everything was great and we were very happy He always showed he loved me and said nice things to make me feel good. but these past few months he has been showing that he doesnt care, he has been paying a lot less attention to me and making it like he does not need me. he has also been very interested in his xbox and that could be were all his attention is going. I've been trying to talk to him about it but it always winds up a fight, he does not really have much to say back to me when i bring up how i feel ,except for maybe "then break up with me" yet he is extreamly jelouse when it comes to me going out or other guys interested in me. I've tried everything, I've cried to him , spoke to him , fought with him, what should i do?! sometimes i feel like i show him i love him too much and he feels like he got me wrapped around his finger .... well i need to change this how do i make him wrapped around my finger? i want him tocome running back to me and kissing up to me ?
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female
reader, MsCupid +, writes (1 July 2010):
Hey!
It's not that big a problem. I'm talking from my experience. All you need to do is start playing on the XBOX with him. Go out with him to buy video games and things that he likes.
What men want is a good friend who share common interests as well as be a good lover. I'm sure you are the latter and that's why he gets jealous when u go out with other guys. He still loves u and doesn't wanna lose so, just give him more space. Start playing games with him that would help you get to spend more time with him without having a fight with him.
Also, try to get involved in other activities at the same time. Don't always be easily available. And most importantly, STOP asking him questions about whatz wrong. Don'e make it worse but try to make it better with the help of the same XBOX! Seriously, nothing is wrong... he still loves u... he just wants some space too....... give him that and see how he'll come running back to you!
A
female
reader, louloulou1991  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 hi its lou...
i will try and help you a little:)
as far as i know most mens brains are tuned to having a secure and sound relationship which involves great sex and a beautiful looking woman (to them)
try to make yourself more appealing and possibly more attractive
assuming you are of age and are willing to do so, read up on how to please men or ask him what he would like from you,
try speaking to him and asking him why his attention is put more on his xbox and wait for a sensible reply, dont get upset over him!!
i hope this helps a bit
xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I disagree with the others. In my experience, this is a very common way to behave. Sometimes it's brought on by a woman wanting to spend too much time with the man, but not always. Regardless, it doesn't sound like a reason to break up. He probably needs space, and if you give it to him, he will come to you more often. I have the same problems in my relationship, and I am a needy person, so I can attest to how hard it is, but basically you need to play a waiting game without letting on that you are waiting. It is hard, but it feels really good when the guy gets so lonely that he comes to you. Occupy yourself with other activities. You say he gets jealous when you go out; that should give you an idea about how much he cares about you. But make sure you are not too obviously ignoring him or that he doesn't misinterpret your distance as the "silent treatment" or anything. Just keep yourself busy and the tables will turn your way a little.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 February 2009):
 This is an unhealthy way to want to be in a relationship - wanting someone wrapped around your finger is not the right way to go about things! A relationship should be based on mutual trust and respect, not one person running around after the other!
It sounds like you have tried very hard to save this relationship and it sounds like he is being a typical man who is too settled in the relationship and thinks that he has got it made basically. He has the best of both worlds - he has you whenever he wants/needs you, and then he doesnt have to put any effort in yet you still stay with him!
I think you have to have one last talk with him - tell him either he changes or you break up. If he gives his usual response of "break up with me then", then that is what you have to do. It is unlikely that he will change, most men never do. He might get a shock when you actually end it, he might come running back being the lovely man you first met. But even if you got back together, within a few months he would be the same all over again.
Not all men are like this, you will find someone that will always treat you the way you should be treated. But it doesnt sound like this guy has the maturity to know how to treat a woman I'm afraid. Be brave and move on - there is better out there I promise!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): As the saying goes, you dont know what you've got till its gone...break up with him even if you agree just a break then both of you will realise how you really feel maybe the less attention you give him the more he will want it and have to work for it.
i think you should play him at his own game pay less attention to him do your own thing go out with your mates, if he's interested in his xbox find something your interested in and invest some time in that. my guess is he will not like being shoved to one side and he will come running back.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, iMuse +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Tell him exactly what you just said and if he doesn't change then leave him. He doesn't deserve someone who gives all their love and affection to. He just needs a big wake up call and breaking up with him will set the alarms.
Good Luck =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): If I were you, I would leave him. You have tried everything, and that hasn't worked so there isn't much that you can do now. Maybie making love might help and get him interested again but I think your too good for him xOr, he might just be going through some weird stage in his life, and it might help asking him if there is anything going on at home.
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