A
female
age
30-35,
*reaming1322
writes:My boyfriend and I dated for 3 years... he recently started to care... after 3 years! And now he thinks ive become the bad person. I mean no one is perfect, I know ive made mistakes, but hes cheated on me 3 times. And before he spoke to girls like he wanted to get with them. since thats past my bf still constantly talks to girls. he tells me, they are like family to me etcetc. he goes over their houses. Like its just them 2. he ignored Me for a while and finally answered, he was abput to spend the night there And it bugs me a ton but it never gets to him. Am I wrong.for flipping out at him? I trust him ,but the memories still come back...Hes not so social but he picks to talk to more girls then guys and. it.makes me feel terrible cause i feel like im not the only one, like im not.good eenough then he tries to tell me I talk to a ton of guys and ive known them since hs or my cousin even my job.since its in the mall..idk what to do ..DO i move on? How do i make him understand that i just dont like what hes doing.help please.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (1 June 2010):
 You've dated this guy for THREE YEARS and "he's *recently* started to care"???? What's THAT about? And now that he does care, you're a "bad person"?? You've clearly stated that he talks to more girls than guys. While this is no harbinger of great wrong-doing, in and of itself, it does say that you're not THE one and *only*, sweetie.
Am I understanding correctly that he spends the night at other girls' homes? If this is your guy, then there is absolutely *NO* reason for this. Period. Believe me, were this my guy it would go far beyond just bugging me a ton. That's solid grounds for dismissal, you're outta here, buddy!
Lines like "they're like family" or "we're just friends" are simple Man Code for I want to do this without any static from you about it.
This guy wants you to stand around and wait for him to dally with whomever tickles his fancy at the moment and when he's done, there you'll be right there waiting as second string.
If this guy genuinely cared for you he most certainly wouldn't be trying to make you feel terrible about yourself as he's on his way out the door to spend time with a "family-like" friend, honey. Get rid of this one, he's playing you. Plain and simple. You deserve a guy who cares for *you*. THAT is how you make him understand that you don't like what he's doing. Drop this guy like a hot rock, he has plenty of family-like other girls to catch him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 June 2010):
Hell yes move on. He's cheated three times. THREE TIMES. If that's not a good enough reason, then here are others. He spends all his time talking to girls claiming they're family. He has turned this around and now claims you're the bad one. You being upset doesn't get to him. He makes you feel you're not good enough. No disrespect, but when you are going to wake up and decide that being treated this way isn't acceptable. You trust him? Based upon what? I admire your loyalty, but this guy is tearing you apart and is using you left right and centre. There is no making him understand. You could scream in his face to stop doing it, and he'l still do it. Stop trying to change him. Stop hoping he will change. He won't. He's just an ass who is using you, and will continue to do so while you provide yourself as the doormat to him. Dump him and find a better guy.
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