A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys! I'm in need of some advice. Sorry if this is a repeat, I accidentally posted before I finished typing it the first time!2 months ago I met a guy through some friends. Ran into him again at a mutual friend's b-day party and we ended up exchanging numbers to work on school assignments together. At first he only called about school, then started asking me to hang out. The more we talked, the more I saw him as a friend, so I kept turning him down. He convinced me that most of his friends are girls and he just wanted to be friends. Thinking it'd be harmless, I finally agreed (mistake on my part??). The hang out consisted of movie and a quick bite after - no sparks or romantic feelings or anything date-like about it.Didn't hear from him afterwards, so I assumed it was platonic for him too. The next weekend I had gone on a roadtrip and gotten myself sick. The day I got back he suddenly wanted to hang out, but I told him I wasn't feeling well and said no. He disregarded it and kept asking me to go over to his place. Wasn't comfortable with this at all .. since he wouldn't take no for an answer I ignored his calls. He proceeded to flood my phone and fb all day, then finally told me why he wanted me over. To ask me on a date to a musical this weekend. I appreciate that he wanted to do it in person, but it freaked me out how pushy he was being to get me to go over. Now, I'm already going with someone I'm interested in and told him so. Though he seems to think I'm only turning him down because someone else asked me first.How do I tell him I'm not interested in him? That it's not just this date I don't want to go on with him, but all dates?Love to hear your opinions, thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): Responding as original poster.
Thanks for all your replies! Since my closest friends are mostly guys, they can relate to him so it's hard to get an unbiased view from them. I know the answer seems obvious, but I really appreciate hearing some female input.
Purple Pillow Power - he tells me he gets really lonely sometimes, being an only child and when all his friends are busy. I guess that sort of explains why he's so persistent ..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): "Sorry, Joe, but I'm not interested in dating you."
You don't have to explain. You don't have to go into detail. You don't have to draw out a Venn diagram for him, explaining the similarities and differences he shares with the guy you're actually interested in.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (21 July 2011):
 Just be honest and tell him you're not interested in him at all, that you never have been, never will be and would prefer for him not to contact you(if that's what you prefer). It may be harsh but someone this persistent needs to be told the truth.
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A
female
reader, Purple Pillow Power  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Tell him. The best thing you can do is tell him you have a boyfriend and had no intention on dumping him anytime soon. Its okey to be freaked by that. That happend to me once. I was so creeped I moved forms at school but he keeped talking to me on facebook and stuff. In the end I just practilly shouted it in his face he was being a perv and he explianed how his friends bullied him onthe fact he never had a girlfriend. Maybe thats why your friend is acting up. Ask him about it and he maybe having trouble somewhere. Hope it helped.
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