A
male
age
30-35,
*en345
writes:I am 18, and so is my ex girlfriend. We dated for a year, having been friends first for a few months, and split mutually two months ago. The reason we split was because the relationship had become 'complicated'. This was mainly because she went to a party six months ago, got really drunk, and got herself involved in a game of spin the bottle, making out with other guys. I ended the relationship for a few days, distraught, before we started dating again. It seemed to had lost its shine because I had become so defensive as a result of the party.We split properly two months ago, seeing how it would go. For the first few weeks, she was really clingy, but now isn't. I have begun to miss her like crazy, and this week, asked to meet up with her, where I told her I wanted to date her again. She says she rather likes being single and doesn't want me around to make or break her. I came home and am broken. I feel I have lost her forever. How do I make her feel the way she used to feel about wanting to date? She has feelings, but is scared of the relationship. PLEASE help me
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 I guess she jsut doesnt want to in a relationship at the moment. She is enjoying single life and doesnt want to be tied down in a relationship. I guess there is nothing you can do here, she has told you clearly that she doesnt want to be with you at the moment so the only thing that you can do is accept her choice and leave her alone. Who knows what the future might hold but for now I suggest that you get out there and enjoy single life as well.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 April 2011):
Hi there. It seems that her thinking about life now has changed since the breakup.
You were probably her first boyfriend, and you were together for a whole year. That's quite a while.
Since she has had a taste of freedom, she likes it. That's quite normal as there are no emotional ties, and no rules to restrict her lifestyle. She can completely do what she likes without having to consider anyone else.
Relationships do mean some restriction and compromise, so there are understandably some limitations.
After the break you had from each other, she has got to like that freedom, so wants to enjoy it a bit more before settling into another relationship. That makes sense.
I think that's rather wise. Because for her to be in a relationship with you now, would put pressure on her and you would both end up arguing because of that pressure.
You wouldn't want that, I'm sure.
And for that matter, you should also be enjoying the newfound freedom you also have because you aren't together anymore.
You can do exactly do what you like - where, when and how. How good is that? No rules!
Enjoy your freedom. There's plenty of time for relationships. In time you might like to travel and see the world. Do lots of things, that you couldn't do if you had someone.
Be careful what you wish for.
Take care and best wishes.
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