A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I am currently in love with two different men. I live with my boyfriend of a year and a half. But i'm seeing another man behind his back. I've been seeing the other man for about 9 months. Prior to this he and i were together for a few months and split because he went back to his ex. Then i met the new guy and after a year of dating we moved in together. Now there is no romance, no love, he doesn't care about me or what i do. I see the other guy twice a week and i don't even come home and the current bf doesn't even question it. I love them both. The old guy and i have so much in common and such an anazing chemistry. The new guy is stable and at the beginning stole my heart. I don't know which man to choose!!! It's so complicated that i can't even think straight. Help me please!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): If your live in bf doesnt even notice if you don't come back home at night why bother coming back at all? You say you love him but a onesided love is worse than no love at all. Try staying away a week and see if he comes out of his coma. Otherwise start packing girl. The live one isnt going to put up with one offs forever.
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (26 June 2010):
 Firstly i'd like to say Thank You to the anonymous post below me! I'm going through the same thing and your words just made everything clear to me. "they stop doing the things that they did to get you." Brilliant! I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, we're a long distance and i love him alot, but hes got so comfortable that he say, let alone do, the romantic things he did to get me. But then a guy who lives in my town who likes me alot, romances me and makes me feel amazing. But he's not my boyfriend. Also why are you with that guy if he doesnt even speak to or love you? Break it off and take the guy your dating behind his back.. it sounds like you two hit it off alot more!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): Im going through the same thing. I'm married husband left and I fell in love with a wonderful guy. But I love both. People say follow your heart. In this case your heart is torn in two places. Maybe you need to weigh out the pros and cons. Spend time by yourself and reflect on both relationship, Maybe then you can pick. The truth is something is lacking in your relationship and thats why you found the other guy. This guy is the replacement, because he does everything you want your boyfriend to do. Sometimes when we are in relationship for so long our mates get a little bit comfortable. Meaning they stop doing the things that they did to get you. You have to choose, good luck on your decision.
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A
female
reader, QZ +, writes (26 June 2010):
 First of all you need to realize it isn't fair or right of you to abuse the trust of two different men by seeing them both at the same time. Once you accept this fact you also have to realize that no matter whom you choose, one of them is going to be hurt. Lastly, however, you also need to know that you have to take your own happiness into consideration. Are you sure you really love both of them, or are you just (as I call it) "in lust" with one of them? Can you see yourself with one or the other in forty years? Secondly, if you say yourself one doesn't love you or care, why are you with said man? How can you expect yourself to be happy with someone who doesn't have the same feelings for you?
In the end, it's your decision and choice, but think carefully before proceeding.
(I hate to be so blunt and I apologize if I sound rude. :/ But I really do wish you the best.)
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